Against All Odds Podcast, The Less than 1% Chance with Maria Aponte
Maria highlights stories of people that have been the "less than 1% chance" and have come out of their situations thriving and seeing life as happening FOR them and not TO them! Inspiring and empowering stories that will show you that against all odds you can make it through anything!
Against All Odds Podcast, The Less than 1% Chance with Maria Aponte
From Darkness to Empowerment: Dawn Smith's Triumph Over Domestic Abuse and Reclaiming Self-Worth
Have you ever felt like your voice was buried under the weight of someone else's words? Dawn Smith, a courageous survivor, stepped into our studio to share the raw and empowering tale of her escape from domestic abuse and a harrowing suicide attempt. Her story, an eye-opening narrative that begins with a rapid descent into a verbally abusive marriage, is a sobering reminder of how crucial positive relationship role models are in our lives. As Dawn recounts her critical moment of overdose—a time enveloped in darkness—she also illuminates the transformative realization that her life was worth fighting for.
This episode is not just about survival; it's a blueprint for empowerment. Embark on a journey with us as we traverse the road to rediscovering self-worth and aiding others in doing the same. Dawn's conversation with Brad, our mindset coach, was the spark that ignited her metamorphosis. We spotlight 'A Safe Place' charity, celebrating their comprehensive aid for abuse victims, including a pioneering initiative that safeguards pets, removing a barrier to seeking help. I take immense pride in unveiling the Empowerment Project Academy and its companion journal, crafted to shepherd women through their healing odyssey. As we share these revelations, the conversation underscores the potent act of speaking out, and how doing so can not only light a beacon of hope but also potentially disrupt the devastating cycle of abuse.
Dawn's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dawn.hahn.smith/
Dawn's Course:
https://empowermentprojectacademy.thinkific.com/
A Safe Place:
https://asafeplaceforhelp.org/
Toll-Free Help Line
1-800-600-SAFE
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Welcome back to the Against All Odds the Lesson 1% Chance podcast with your host, maria Ponte, where we will hear stories of incredible people thriving against all odds, and my hope is that we can all see how life is always happening for us, even when we are the Lesson 1% Chance. Hey, hey, welcome back to Against All Odds the Lesson 1% Chance podcast with your host, maria Ponte. Today we have a guest. I'm so excited, all right.
Speaker 1:So this woman has the most incredible story of Against All Odds and I just want to shout her out a bit, and I wanted her to tell her story because I think it's so, so important. This is something very near and dear to my heart, not from something that I went through myself, but something that a loved one went through, and it just it's always so amazing to hear the stories of those people that have survived some of the most darkest moments, and so this is Dawn Smith Welcome. So she is a domestic abuse survivor, a suicide survivor. She felt lost and ashamed after her divorce because she felt like she had stayed too long and felt like less than. It's taken a while to find her place and her confidence, and today she stands in her truth and how she can help and impact others with her story. So, dawn, welcome to my podcast.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for having me. I'm so very excited. This is my first podcast, so there you go.
Speaker 1:Yes. Well, that's even more exciting. I met Dawn at an event last year, the very event where I stated that I was going to make a podcast and that I stated it was with our mindset coach Brad. He will be on at one point because I have spoken about him so very much that he needs to like. Some people need like, reference, people need Brad in their life, and so that's how I met Dawn. I met her through our mindset coach Brad. We were both at this event last May and she was able to tell her story on stage and I it was just. I was blown away and and I'm so excited to have her on because I hope that this helps impact people in your life and helps people know that they're strong enough to overcome all situations. So, dawn, what happened 17 plus years ago and how was your life impacted so greatly?
Speaker 2:So growing up? I'm going to, I'm just going to start growing up. I never had the boyfriend. I never was the popular one. I was always the one kids made fun of. So one day, when my friend and I went to a bar, she's like hey, you want to go with me? I'm like sure.
Speaker 2:And this guy started talking to me out of nowhere. Come on, somebody's showing me attention. And I don't know if it was just because I hadn't had that attention, that it was just something so new and so real for me that we went outside, we started chatting and he seemed cocky, arrogant, but I'm like maybe he's nervous. And then he asked if he'd kiss me. And I'm like sure, why not? And then he gave me his business card and said give me a call. I'm like I am not going to call this guy. No way, no, how. Cause there was just something about him, just the arrogance. And so when I got home I threw the card on the kitchen table. My mom's like well, what can it hurt? Why don't you call him Too bad? I can't blame my mom for this right.
Speaker 2:So things rapidly progressed and you know, I didn't know a lot about his past and I didn't know a lot of what he was into. But six to eight months later we were driving to Vegas and we decided to get married. So it was a really quick turnaround because at that point I wanted somebody to love me, and that's the whole purpose of this is I wanted somebody to love me. I wanted to feel the love that I saw so many other people having. Like, I didn't see that growing up, so I didn't have good role models. That's the part that was really hard is I didn't have those role models. My parents were divorced. My dad was a really good guy but my mom got remarried again and that was all abusive. So that's what I saw, that's what I knew. And even my ex's parents they were divorced but yet they were still together. He cheated on her. So you know, I didn't have those solid role models. It was just the verbal abuse then started. It was verbal abuse. There wasn't so much the physical abuse at first.
Speaker 1:Okay, but it was a lot of was that like it immediately at the beginning, after he got married or Even before then?
Speaker 2:it had started before then and it was to the point. It was like he made me feel like nobody else would love me. I was kind of stuck. Don't ever feel that you're stuck in a situation like that, because you always deserve so much more than what Somebody's telling you you're worth. The only person that can determine that is yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely Mm-hmm. And so the verbal abuse started. Then you guys got married. It continued.
Speaker 2:Yes, it continued. So at that point I had felt so much less than anything that like one day I was staying with my friend and and I overdosed on meds and I came out of her bathroom and I said to her I said I think I just overdosed. She called the paramedics. They got me to the hospital and my doctor Said to me he goes, you overdosed on the one of your meds. That wouldn't do anything for you. And I beat myself up for that because I'm like I can't even commit suicide. Right, that's how much worth I felt I had in myself. But then at that point, also looking back now, it's the greatest gift I gave myself Because I'm here, I'm sharing my story.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so this happened. How far into your marriage did you attempt that?
Speaker 2:It was like a good seven, eight years into our marriage and I look back and I always say, you know, I wish I had known sooner, I wish I had the help sooner, but I just kept letting it go and letting it go because I didn't know how to let go. When I got married I was that person that was said it's gonna be forever, I don't care what the circumstances are, because you don't go into marriage thinking I'm gonna get divorced. Yeah, that was another thing that held me back. But you know, from the attempted suicide to Getting evicted from our house, to being homeless on the streets, I mean I've been through it all. I've been through it all and kind of the last straw Was with my dad.
Speaker 2:My dad lived with me and he was in a wheelchair and he couldn't defend himself and he would hear all this fighting and arguing between me and my ex. And at one point I said to him you know, you've got to stop. You've just got to stop doing this. He even abused my cat and, yeah, my cat, he would spray water at him and of course, you know cats are defensive, they're gonna like hiss and growl, but mine actually cowered back because he was so afraid of him, wow, and so I said you know what I'm done. So was he busy.
Speaker 1:So was the physically abusive to your dad as well no, but my dad couldn't stick up for himself.
Speaker 2:So I I told him, I said you know what? I've had enough of you, you need to get out. And then he hit me. And he hit me so hard it left bruises the size of coins on my. And yeah, there was physical abuse before, but it was where he couldn't. Nobody could see it Because I'm not gonna show it. But then I started showing it because I'm like you know what people need to see this, so I wouldn't got a restraining order against him.
Speaker 1:Oh, my gosh and you said you were in how long went to your marriage at that point.
Speaker 2:This would be like 10 years now.
Speaker 2:Wow 10, 11 years, and it was just something I had to do, and it was more so for my dad, because I knew I could protect myself, but he couldn't protect himself. My ex ended up Going to stay with a friend and he got in trouble with the law and he got arrested. So I'm like you know what perfect opportunity. I Went and hired a lawyer and that's how my divorce came about, wow. And so when he got served papers he tried to use, he tried calling my lawyer to see if he would defend or be his lawyer too.
Speaker 1:And I'm like no, it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2:So the day court came, you know, I already knew he had been served, but he couldn't show up.
Speaker 1:So perfect, perfect to get that taken care of quickly.
Speaker 2:Yes, perfect ending. There was nothing to split. He had emptied everything I had. He emptied everything in my life. So it was just me and my dad and I came back home from court and my dad's like do I have a single daughter again? And I'm like absolutely.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's amazing.
Speaker 2:And I think that's the greatest gift I gave my dad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you said he passed away a year after that, mm-hmm, so he did get to see you free from the abuse. Yes, yes, that's amazing. What did you find that you needed to Overcome and what did you do to overcome those? Obviously aside from the abuse, but that's external. What did you need to overcome internally To get through this and essentially be free of it?
Speaker 2:So, quite honestly, after the divorce, I needed to find my confidence. I needed to find out who I was. I didn't know who I was because that person was not me. I had gotten so far deep into things with him that I didn't know who I was anymore.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that was really sad, that somebody I was still, you know, still fairly young. I was in my 20s, late 20s, early 30s. At this point and I'm like, who am I? But I still, I'm gonna tell you I still wanted on bad dates Because I thought that's what I deserved still. Yeah but I didn't stick around those.
Speaker 1:And so what? Because now you are happily married to an amazing, incredible man 13 years. Oh my gosh, that's amazing.
Speaker 2:Lucky 13, right.
Speaker 1:Right, that's amazing, congratulations. How did you get to be able to number one, trust somebody and trust yourself? Because I feel like that's part of regaining your confidence is learning to trust yourself, to know that you know this isn't exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2:It took me a while because I'm like confidence was the one thing I really lacked. Trust is the one thing I really lack, because I'm like how am I going to know that I can trust this person? Dennis and I actually chatted for like months on the phone before we even met. Good yeah because I'm like I just can't and we took things really slow. We took it slow, we just, you know, because he had come out of the loss of losing his wife to cancer. So we were both coming from different places of hurt.
Speaker 2:Yeah and how do I?
Speaker 1:read.
Speaker 2:He's in grief. I'm in grief of losing my dad for one and of losing a marriage and thinking this is what I deserved as a marriage. So it was just really a lot to take in. And at one point during while we were dating he was. He said I'm so glad that you're starting to trust me Because he goes. That's going to be the biggest thing that we have to overcome is both of us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and like as a person that comes after a relationship like this, that had to take a lot of patience on his end as well, because I would imagine he knows himself and what he would and wouldn't do. But to have that patience to allow you to see that for yourself, I mean that in itself is incredible.
Speaker 2:He's pretty special he really is and he had the patience and every once in a while we'll hit back, even to this day, and he'll go. You know you're not the same person you were when I first met you. You were quiet, you were reserved, you were still in the shell. He goes. You are not the same person I met.
Speaker 2:That is not a bad thing, no you know he goes back in 2008, 2009,. He goes. You are not the same person. He goes. I loved you then he goes, but I love you more now for who you are and what you value and where you're going.
Speaker 1:So yeah, absolutely so. What did you do to start building that self worth, that self confidence? What did you do for yourself?
Speaker 2:Early on. I went back to school, I got my degree, so I was working full time and I ended up graduating with honors. So that's pretty impressive. But along the lines I was still kind of poking around to see what I could find what would work for me. So I started going into coaching with health and wellness and somewhere along the way we had a guest speaker and that guest speaker is the one we all know and love and I'm like no, this guy is too much for me.
Speaker 1:I always tell him that he was too much for me. It's so funny and so many people have said that and I'm like, but you don't understand. This is him, yeah. And you sometimes look at Brad and you're like, is this a facade? Are you really this incredible? And he really is.
Speaker 2:And then I met him in person at an event, I'm like, ok, he really is. And so then I took the leap to work with him because I thought he was going to show me how to make my business successful, and I realized that's not what I was there for. My bigger goal was to help women post domestic abuse find their confidence within themselves first, before entering another relationship, before going out somewhere else. You have to believe in love in yourself before you can do anything else.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's such a. It's such an important lesson. I even tell my girls I have two daughters and I tell them all the time, like you, there's no way you could love somebody truly if you don't love yourself.
Speaker 2:And I firmly believe that.
Speaker 1:It's like that is the big lie, right? You can't truly, truly connect with somebody like authentically if what you think about yourself is less than and. So how is this Changing? What are you doing to be able to do this? I want to. I want to hear what was the transition of. I need this self worth, self confidence and all of this to. I'm helping women, yes, able to find that.
Speaker 2:In reality, it was one conversation that I had with Brad and he said the confidence is already within you. You have to be able to do this, this and this to flip that switch. And he was right. He was so right. So in the past year, I mean, I've been speaking on stages, sharing my stories, helping to raise hundreds of thousands of dollars for domestic abuse, for a shelter that I work with, and this year I am the head of the entire event for wine, women and shoes, so I am the current head chair for all that.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, that's amazing. That is so incredible. So what does this charity do so that people know?
Speaker 2:a safe place is they provide a continuum of services from beginning to end, like when you first make that call, if that's where you're at, they kind of meet you where you're at and if you need the full service I just left my relationship. They can help you find housing, they do court advocacy, they do counseling and the newest thing that they're doing now that they just got a huge grant for which so many people don't leave their house because they can't take their pets they now are opening a full service pet shelter. Oh, that's so awesome so they can go with them, because so many people won't leave because of that. But they offer the full spectrum of services wherever you're at, which is amazing.
Speaker 1:Are they local to you guys, or are they nationwide?
Speaker 2:They are local to me, but they do have an 800 number which I can provide you later. I don't know off the top of my head, but they can help you with services in your area if you can. If you're not local to me, Okay, yeah, yeah, because I again.
Speaker 1:You never know what someone is going through, and this may be the thing that shows them that they too can leave from a situation that is dangerous for them. And it really is admirable that you were able to stand your ground, and that just takes so much courage, because that could go different ways and that may be what stops somebody from taking that stance. I'm just so incredibly proud of you. So where does this go from here? What are you doing now to help other women? I believe you have a course, is that?
Speaker 2:correct. I do have a course. It is called the Empowerment Project Academy and it's born out of my own experiences. It was actually very therapeutic to create, because it's a series of lessons about finding your happiness, finding your confidence and to know that it's okay to be where you're at now, because we all have to start and do the dark work and then just kind of build up until you see the light, because eventually you will and that light will be a ray of sunshine.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 2:And I just finished creating a journal to go with it.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, that's awesome.
Speaker 2:I can't give away all my secrets about the journal because it's pretty remarkable.
Speaker 1:No, obviously we'll put all the links and everything so that we can tag. Anybody that is interested can find that. What limiting beliefs do you feel you had to overcome in order to get to where you are today and help others with those insights?
Speaker 2:So the biggest one I always had to overcome was I'm not enough. I am not enough. I am never gonna be good enough. And that was from my ex and he always made me feel like I was about that small, so that's what I always believed. So, just overcoming the fact that we are all enough. We are all enough. We were put on this earth for a reason. We are all enough to share stories. We are all enough to be beautiful. We are all enough to be what we wanna be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I love that and was there, I guess, maybe signs along the way, where it was like flickers of hope, maybe that you experienced that, maybe someone can hear so that they'll see those flickers as well.
Speaker 2:Well, I don't know if it's flickers as well as I don't know, maybe signs of what abuse looks like and what it doesn't look like. Abuse can be something so tiny as put downs, negative comments. It doesn't have to be physical abuse, it can be financial. I mean, they could have you know, they could drain your bank accounts, they could do all kinds of things. They can control what you do, what you wear, what you say. That's abuse too, and you can't. You have to know that's not right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, I love it. So now you are speaking on stages, which I think is incredible. How has that changed your life?
Speaker 2:You know, my thought is I know like the first time I spoke on stage was at the event last year with Brad, and to have people come up to me and say thank you for sharing, you know, they shared very personal stories with me and it means it sparked something inside of somebody to say you know what? That's not right, yeah, and if you can touch on just one person to make that difference, then it's gonna be a ripple effect to help somebody else and somebody else and it's gonna break a cycle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's finding the purpose behind your pain and I say this all the time. You know life is happening for you and not to you, and that was one of my biggest takeaways myself. It's finding purpose in that pain. And it might not be the best situation right this moment or in your past even. And if you can find a purpose within that, you can see that life is happening for you Like that, you know. I mean, my daughter had an accident and immediately I was like how is this happening for us, how is this happening for her, how is this happening for me and our family? And I immediately started finding the blessings in the chaos of what happened. And so it's incredible to finally feel that purpose.
Speaker 1:To that pain that, you know, I feel like finding a reason is inhumane. I don't want a reason that this happened to you, but I can find a purpose to it. It just makes it purposeful and not that it was ever okay, but it gave you a purpose to go and help others with it and it makes it impactful and you leave a legacy with those things. I'm just so incredibly proud of you and I am so grateful for Dennis and the role that he played in your life because I think that's probably one of the hardest things is to go back to. I don't know if I could open my heart up again to somebody after something like this, and I just commend you. It is a scary moment in your life that you have found how to leave a legacy with, and I'm so proud.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:So anything else that you feel like you want to speak about or mention here.
Speaker 2:Just that, knowing that you are capable and can do anything. Yeah, because the belief starts from within.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, absolutely. I love it. So we will put all of the information for your course, for your journal, in the show notes. I am so incredibly grateful to you and for jumping on with me today and for sharing your heart, and I'm so proud of the work that you're doing. I can't believe it.
Speaker 2:I so appreciate you having me so I could share my story, and if I can just help one person, it's all worth it.
Speaker 1:It does. It does. Well, my dear, thank you so much friends. Thank you so much for listening today. I am so incredibly honored that I was able to speak with Dawn and that you guys are able to listen to this episode. If you have any comments and if you have any questions, please reach out. We will put all the information for phone numbers and websites and everything. But thank you so much for listening today. I hope you have a super fantastic rest of your day. Peace out, guys. Love your life. Bye-bye ór.
