Against All Odds Podcast, The Less than 1% Chance with Maria Aponte
Maria highlights stories of people that have been the "less than 1% chance" and have come out of their situations thriving and seeing life as happening FOR them and not TO them! Inspiring and empowering stories that will show you that against all odds you can make it through anything!
Against All Odds Podcast, The Less than 1% Chance with Maria Aponte
Finding Light in Darkness: Emmilia O'Sullivan's Road to Resilience
What would you do if life threw one medical challenge after another your way? Explore the incredible resilience of Emmilia O'Sullivan, whose journey is nothing short of awe-inspiring. On this episode of "Against All Odds, the Less Than 1% Chance," we dive into Emmilia's early life battling kidney disease, her father's life-saving kidney donation, and a series of complex surgeries that tested her strength at every turn. Emmilia's pursuit of health is a testament to the indomitable human spirit, sparking inspiration in every listener.
Emmilia and her husband faced an emotional rollercoaster in their quest to start a family. From grappling with a pituitary gland tumor to enduring the trials of fertility treatments and the complexities of surrogacy and adoption, their journey is filled with highs and lows. Despite these hurdles, Emmilia's unwavering optimism and reliance on community support shine brightly. Her story underscores the importance of trust, relaxation, and finding joy in unexpected moments, offering valuable insights for anyone navigating similar paths.
Embracing her new reality with profound positivity, Emmilia opens up about the emotional and physical challenges she encountered, including the impact on her self-confidence following multiple surgeries. She shares how self-care, maintaining a positive outlook, and developing daily habits have contributed to her overall well-being. As Emmilia reflects on her journey approaching her 30th birthday, she leaves us with a powerful message of resilience over victimhood, appreciation for life's small pleasures, and the strength derived from overcoming adversity. Tune in to be inspired by Emmilia’s incredible journey and the enduring power of positivity.
Find Emmilia:
Instagram: @emmiliaosullivan
Facebook: Emmilia O'Sullivan
Tiktok: emmiliaosullivan
Website: www.emmiliaosullivan.com
Find her book on her website above!
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Welcome back to the Against All Odds the Less Than 1% Chance podcast with your host, maria Aponte, where we will hear stories of incredible people thriving against all odds, and my hope is that we can all see how life is always happening for us, even when we are the Less Than 1% Chance.
Speaker 2:Hey, hey, welcome back to Against All Odds, the Less Than 1% Chance podcast with your host, maria Aponte. I hope you're doing fantastic today. I wanted to just I wanna take a moment because I have my second international guest on and I am so excited. I just chatted with her a little bit prior to, and you guys are in for such a treat today.
Speaker 2:So Amelia O'Sullivan is an inspirational young lady who has faced life's challenges head on and always does so with positivity and humor, which is also needed. She is full of life, enthusiastic and very passionate about providing support to people like her that have been through horrendous medical issues and diagnosis. In Amelia's short 30 years, she has endured more than one person would experience in their entire lifetime, including. There's a ton of things on here, so I'm going to say a few, but there's a kidney transplant, spinal fusion, neck dissections, cardiac arrest oh my goodness. Non-hodgkin's lymphoma, pneumonia, sepsis and oh my gosh. Let's just say I'm going to give her the space to speak a little bit more about all the things that she has been through, but she has defied all odds over and over again.
Speaker 2:She is here to tell her story and really, when she got to the point where she can maybe write a book. She did, and so she's got a book that she wrote and is promoting now. So I am so excited because after this I am going to get it immediately. But the book is called I should be effing dead, which is so funny because I, literally a few days ago, from this recording I posted, I was, I almost died five times, and it's so crazy that this is the. You see, when we put our energy at that vibration of you know what, I'm just going to go there and you attract the people that you're supposed to have in your life, for whatever reason it may be. So welcome Em.
Speaker 2:I'm so excited to have you Give us a little bit of background of your story, and I know that you've been through a lot of things, so I want to hear just a little bit of your background.
Speaker 3:Of course. Thank you so much for having me, and I'm so honored to be your first Australian guest. Oh, where do I even start? I suppose the start's a good place.
Speaker 3:I was born with kidney disease and had my right kidney removed and lived most of my life on one kidney. I was fine. I lived a main, proper child life. It wasn't until I was about 15 or 16, and that's when my kidney was at 20% function. The problem that we were facing was that I was having reflux from my bladder going up to my kidney and damaging it. I was also very prone to infections, so that was also damaging it damaging it. I was also very prone to infections, so that was also damaging it. So I had my specialists and I was told that I would have to have a kidney transplant. The problem we were facing was, though, if I was to have a kidney transplant, it was just the same thing was going to happen Everything was going to get damaged again because of the bladder.
Speaker 3:So when I was 17, I had my first major major well, actually my second major surgery. So my first one was when I had my kidney removed and they had to reconstruct my whole bladder. So they cut open my bladder, they grabbed a bit of my intestine, made it bigger and rounder and it actually fixed the issue. So I was happy it was all recovering. And then we still had this kidney issue because again it was only at 20%. So four years later it declined and I had to have the transplant. I got a transplant from my dad, so it was very lucky and fortunate because in Australia it's I'm not too sure what it's like in America, but in the waiting list is very long, it's five to seven years and also in Australia you have to opt to be a donor.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Whereas in a lot of other countries you're automatically a donor and then you have to opt out. So we are trying to get that in Australia, so hopefully it happens. But anyway, I had the kidney transplant and again it all worked perfectly fine. I was all recovering and I had a good working kidney. And it was about eight or nine months later and I started to go back to the gym. So I had to get fit and healthy again. I was on a steroid and that made me put on a lot of weight, about 12 kilos. I wasn't used to it. So I thought, right, I'm going to really get into my health now. So I changed my diet, I started going to the gym and then I got this knee pain and I went to all these different doctors and I went to emergency a few times, got sent home with painkillers, scan after scan, and everyone's telling me there's nothing wrong, you've just gone to the gym, you've injured yourself, don't worry about it, you'll be fine.
Speaker 3:Anyway, it got to the point where I was sitting upright and I couldn't even lay down. I was in excruciating pain and I thought, no, this is not normal, like I need something, I need to do something. So I actually went to my previous kidney specialist at the time and I explained to him that I couldn't lay down and he said well, that's strange. Why would it get worse if I was laying down? It's in the knee. So he goes look, I'm going to order a full body CT scan. And I thought, okay, let's do it. So I did that. And I thought, okay, let's do it. So I did that and I got a call the next day and he said you need to go straight to hospital. I've got a bed booked in for you, go there, I'll meet you there later. I thought, okay, well, they found something. Obviously I had no idea what it was, so, packed, everything, went to the hospital and they started testing further.
Speaker 3:So they did a PET scan. I had a little lump in my groin area, so they did a biopsy. They did a bone marrow biopsy. So by the time they did all these tests, a week had gone past. I was in a hospital for a week.
Speaker 3:Then my kidney doctor walked in with a hematologist so a blood cancer or blood doctor and they looked at me and they pretty much said you've been diagnosed with stage three non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. And I've just looked at them and I've gone okay. So what's the treatment and when do we start? And they're like they just looked at me and was like, well, is that all you got to say? I'm like, yeah, I want to know the treatment now. I want to know how long it's going to take, because I want to hurry up and do this treatment, because I want to move on with my life. I've got things to do. Everyone around me is crying. My parents and my boyfriend at the time were just distraught, and I was the rock when I was going through everything. And so this was on a Wednesday.
Speaker 3:I remember the day, and by Friday, three days later, I was on the chemotherapy ward starting my first treatment and chemotherapy. So that lasted six months and then I was in remission. So I was happy. I beat it. I didn't really struggle throughout the chemo. The only thing I believe it or not was when I lost my hair. That's what I really struggled with, because I suppose being a female, it's your form of identity, right? And when it's coming out in clumps uncontrollably, you start to freak out. So I ended up getting a blonde wig. It was my opportunity to go blonde.
Speaker 3:Yes, was it more fun it was more fun at the time, and I got my auntie at the time she was a hairdresser back in the day and I said we're shaving it. And she goes, why, why just let it fall out? And I said, no, I want to be in control, it's not going to be on my terms. Um, so that's it. We shaved it and I put the wig on and then I was okay, I was fine. So this brings us, yeah, towards the end of 2015 now, and I was in remission for the lymphoma, but they had found tumors in my liver and they're like, well, that's strange. So they biopsied them and they're called EBV driven smooth muscle tumors, so the Epstein-Barr virus, which is also known as the glandular fever virus, that was driving these tumors and they had no idea what they were. They had no idea how to treat them. I think still to this day, I'm the only one in Australia that is diagnosed with them.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so it was trial and error and it was well, what do we do? And at this point in time, they were only in the liver, and so we did an internal radiation therapy, where they directly inject radiation internally, and they I suppose the students had a mixed response. Some of them went quiet, went away, some of them just went inactive and some of them were still there. So we thought, okay, well, what else can we do? And then there was a medication at the time where it had well, there was research and it said that it had properties to try and get rid of tumors or suppress the tumors. So we thought, okay, we'll try that. We tried that, but it actually had the opposite effect in me. It actually grew them more and they started developing in all other areas, so other areas where in my head, in my neck, in my spine, in my lung, in my bladder, they were everywhere. But this particular tumor doesn't spread by the bloodstream, so they're all new occurrences.
Speaker 3:So I said to the doctors, I said no, I don't want this medication anymore, take me off it. So we we removed that and then we thought, well, what do we do now? And then more research was done and it was actually one of my specialists. We've got a cancer hospital here in Victoria, in Melbourne, and it's called the Peter McCallum Cancer Centre. So they had some contacts in America and there was a trial of T cell therapy, but this therapy was targeted for the EBV virus. So I was actually having stuff flown from America to Australia and I was having this treatment and again I got a mixed response. Everything's died down a little bit and I was okay and they were all stable and I was happy with that. I said look, they can live there as long as they don't cause me any harm. Exactly, as long as they're not messing with that, I said look, they can live there as long as they don't cause me any harm, exactly.
Speaker 2:As long as they're not messing with me. I got this. I got it they can stay there.
Speaker 3:So we did some of that therapy and then I went on a holiday to Sri Lanka and when we got back I felt very ill and went into hospital and I ended up getting pneumonia. And pneumonia is horrible. It is so painful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, to be honest. Anyway, as I was doing testing, they found a tumor in my lungs so that had to get removed. Got that removed, had five rounds of radiation all good, so I was fine with that. And then I started getting lots of bladder infections, and that's when we discovered the one in the bladder, so we had to get that one removed.
Speaker 3:Then a few years had passed, so I was in and out of hospital having various treatments, and then I got to the end of 2019 and I was stable enough. Everything was coming back clear, my scans were stable, and my husband and I thought well, let's go for let's family plan, let's think about starting a family of our own. Now I had a rod in my arm. It's called the implanon rod. It's a contraception rod and that was due to come out. So I got it taken out and I didn't get my menstrual cycle back.
Speaker 3:It was three months later, so I went to the doctors and said well, it's not back. Oh, let's just give it another three months. I said, okay, well, fair enough. So we waited another three, so six months in total, and still not back. So more testing did a blood test of all my hormones, and they were just zero. There was nothing there. And then that led to an MRI on my head area and then I got called in again immediately and so you've got your brain, and then you've got your pituitary gland, which is just under your brain and that regulates all your hormones.
Speaker 2:As you probably already know, that's what the signals that yeah, and the signal yeah, so that stalk, so it.
Speaker 3:Basically I had a tumor that was sitting in that area below the brain and it was pushing on the stalk so it was damaging the stalk. So I was never, ever going to get my period and still don't now. So the week later I had to have a craniotomy. So they cut my head open all on this. My right side removed the removed the tumor well, 90 something percent of the tumor and then a week later they went through my nose and did a transphenoidal surgery to remove the rest of my tumor. Then I had to have a skin graft to fix all the inside of that area. But as a result my nerve got cut. So my right eyelid doesn't go up or down oh my gosh. So it's permanently shut now and my confidence was just way like below low. I wasn't even confident to begin with, and let alone this has happened. So I was so grateful that they'd removed 100% of the tumor and that was gone.
Speaker 3:But I had to face this confidence issue now and I initially like wore like a makeup remover pad, eye patch sort of thing and just pretended I had an eye surgery, just so people wouldn't ask I would try and cover it up, I wouldn't be going out as much. I'm a very social person. I love going out, but I didn't even want to go down to the supermarket. That that's how bad I was. And then I said to myself no, amelia, you need to get out Like, this is your life now. You need to accept it. So I changed my mind, my positive thinking, and accepted it and said well, no, you know what I haven't changed as a person? Yeah, I might physically look different, but I'm still me. That was a lot to get through, but I got through it all. And then I learned that people were just staring because they were curious, I think yeah, I don't think they were doing it in a bad way.
Speaker 2:I think that people because they're not used to, and I feel like when we're in grade school it's the teasing, but as we're older, I don't think it's even the teasing, it's the curiosity and like, what's her story? Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:So in the end now I just walk in with confidence, pretend it's not even there and most people don't even look anymore, so just having to have that inner confidence. So I was recovering from that and I was all good. And then a couple of months later I had to have the routine scan to make sure everything was good. And I said to the doctors because I had tumors all on the sides of my neck and I said, oh, it's bulging and it's really uncomfortable I go, can we just do a scan just to see for future if I can get them removed and they're like yeah, why not? So did that and then again got called in a week later and I thought, oh god, they've found something now. And turns out that my c5 vertebrae had a little tumor in it and fractured it. I had no symptoms, nothing. They're like are you in pain? Anyway, I said no, I was actually running a fish and chip takeaway shop with my parents at the time, so it was quite physical oh my gosh, I was running around and doing that.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, I didn't, I'd know nothing, nothing was indicating that I had a fractured vertebrae. So, again, I was scheduled for surgery and so they did a neck dissection where they removed the tumors on both sides and then they put a cage in the front to try and stabilize the spine. Yeah, but because of my previous use of steroids, my bones are not very good. They're quite weak. So two days later they had to do a fusion. So they did a fusion from c2 to t1.
Speaker 3:So I believe that's like eight levels or something like that seven or eight levels my god so I was back to square one and I had to go through physical rehab and I couldn't eat or talk for a good month because they moved my vocal cord. Um, I was on a puree diet, so essentially a baby diet. Yeah, just everything. And I suppose what I learned from that was that you take the little things for granted, like the ability to take a step or the ability to swallow some water or something. It's just an everyday thing that you just do subconsciously, and when you suddenly can't do that, you realize.
Speaker 2:It makes you appreciate life so much.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, it does. So again, I was in rehab and personal training and got myself good, so it was all good and then. So then we come to the following year and I'm 30, so I'm 31 now and I'm just about to turn 30 years old. So I had my party and I loved it so much. And then we hit November, and it was one Sunday morning I remember it clearly, it was November the 20th in 2022.
Speaker 3:And I'd woken up and I wasn't feeling the best, and so I said to my husband look, I'm going to have a shower, I'm just going to go back to bed and rest. And he goes, that's fine. And he went out to do yard work. He never does yard work, ever. I'm going to embrace this. You go out there, I'll rest, we'll be fine anyway.
Speaker 3:A few hours later, he'd come to check on me and I was in a pool of sweat, but I was shivering at the same time. I didn't really know what was going on. I was super thirsty and but I didn't want to drink. I didn't feel like drinking, let alone eating, and I was, I know, like I felt this before. I knew it was happening because I had sepsis multiple times and I knew right, I think I've got sepsis again. So I said to my husband look, pack my hospital bag, I'll go use the bathroom and then you'll have to take me to hospital. He goes okay.
Speaker 3:And I went to try and get up and I was just so dizzy I couldn't even walk. So I go. Well, scrap that, I can't do that. Tried to walk to the car, couldn't do that either. So I said to my husband well, I think you're gonna have to call the ambulance now. Within the space of half and I was conscious to pretty much almost passing out and my heart rate hit like 150 or 160. My blood pressure dropped my. I check my blood pressure regularly because of my kidney and the machine wasn't even detecting my heart rate. I'm sorry, my blood pressure oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:So when the ambulance came, they checked and it was in like the 80s or something, so it was very low. So I was rushed straight to emergency lights and sirens and all I remember is being wheeled into the emergency department, into the resuscitation room, and then I remember all these doctors poking and prodding me, trying to get a line into me as in a drip, and then that's it. I don't remember anything else. So turns out that I was put into an induced coma, because when you've got sepsis it's the infection that enters your bloodstream and starts shutting down all your organs and you're very prone to brain damage as well, because your brain's an organ and it starts affecting that. So they put you into an induced coma to save you, basically. But a couple of days into the coma I suffered a cardiac arrest because my blood pressure was still dropping. So I think I was pretty much unconscious for two and a half minutes, and in the medical world that is huge Like two and a half minutes could be life or death or brain damage or no damage.
Speaker 3:Anyway, thankfully I was resuscitated, revived and I wasn't out of the woods, though I got told afterwards from my family that they got told every day to say goodbye to me because they didn't think I was going to survive. So that coma lasted seven days and then they woke me up and I remember waking up and I had the tube down my throat and my first initial instinct was to grab the tube and rip it out. And I've never seen a nurse run so quickly to grab shackles. And they literally shackled me to the bed and was like no, you can't do that. And I couldn't speak because I had the tube down my throat right. So I'm just sitting there awake with a tube down my throat in a bed shackled. So not only was I in hospital, I also felt like I was, you know, in prison, like in prison.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was gonna say it's like you're in jail and prison, and that's it.
Speaker 3:I was stuck to this bed and I was trying to talk and I couldn't talk. And then I grabbed my hand and I was trying to like it right then, trying to write something in the air, and all I could hear the nurse was saying don't worry, like we're nearly gonna, we're nearly going to, we're going to take it out, we're going to take it out. And I'm trying to say to him like how soon? Like I need it out. I don't know how long time like. For me it felt like hours. It was probably only 15, 20 minutes, but the biggest test was was I going to survive once this tube was out? And so that was the scariest thing, because I was awake and conscious at this time, and I got told it too, and my husband was in the room with me and obviously I survived but they pulled it out.
Speaker 2:Obviously. If not, this would be a totally different show.
Speaker 3:Yes, and so they pulled it out and they put a mask on me straight away and I took a breath and everyone was so happy and relieved. And then some funny things that I did afterwards was once I was able to breathe and talk. First thing I asked my husband was did you pay the gas bill? And he just looked at me and goes so that's all you got to say.
Speaker 2:I'm like yeah, did you.
Speaker 3:Because I handle all the finances in our home. I no idea like what he'd done. That was pretty funny. And then the second thing I said to him was I want to go for a walk. And he goes Amelia, you can't like if you've just seen what you've been through, I don't care. I'm like I want to go for a walk. So the nurses came in and I just kept asking and they're like well, you don't have any shoes. So my husband got in the car, went to my home, got shoes, brought them back, they sat me out of bed and they gave me a walker because obviously I was so weak I couldn't, like couldn't do anything. I'm pretty sure they lifted me up so I was standing and then I took like two steps and I was like no, I'm done. So I turned around and sat back into the chair. But the fact that I could sit up and I was alive was just a blessing.
Speaker 3:And I was so grateful for that. But then I knew I had a long road of recovery because, like I said, I had no muscle mass at all. I had to use a walker Again. I couldn't walk properly. I had to learn how to eat again and I was on the puree diet again, and it was I've been there, done that. And I was on the pureed diet again, and it was I've been there, done that. I knew, yeah, yeah, I recovered from that and here we are now. So I'm 31, I'm fine now, everything's stable. And so I decided to write a book because I needed to, and I think initially I wrote it for myself.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, it's very cathartic, like I think it leaves legacy. No matter what, that story doesn't end with you. That story is on forever.
Speaker 3:That's right.
Speaker 2:Exactly, yeah. And and I think it just shows your resiliency, your strength, your heart, because that's definitely not for the faint of heart I'm over here gripping my chair and I can't like. I've been through not all. I've been through a few things that I can relate to with you, and I remember how difficult that was, and to have one thing after the other, after the other, after the other, yeah, for.
Speaker 3:Essentially over the essentially 10 years. So over the last 10 years, every year or something, so it all didn't happen at once. It was literally I would recover from something and then something else would happen. I'd recover from something and then something else, so consecutively for 10 years.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's not an easy feat and it shows and we can talk about things that you're passionate about as well but it does show your resiliency and the fact that, literally, you are the odd in Australia Absolutely so many with so many different little things that the fact that they were flying medication from halfway across the world for you to get like that is all very that's just incredible that you are here, that I'm so honored to be talking to you right now, and it just it blows my mind that someone could be, and everything is obviously relative to that person, but so I don't ever want to like guilt or shame anyone for experiencing a difficult thing. However, if we take that example of like, taking in all this information and okay, what do we got to do? Yeah, and making sure that, whatever it was it, we're not prolonging the moment of like, we'll feel the situation and, okay, what do we got to do Exactly?
Speaker 2:Taking action in that because, again, like you said, you don't have time to waste. You want to continue to live your life and the amounts of surgeries that you've had were not small surgeries, they were very huge surgeries. I have just a question when they did the surgery for the pituitary gland, did that change anything? Were you able to signal now your body, to signal hormones?
Speaker 3:no, I can't signal, but I've done many rounds of IVF and at that point I didn't even know if I could, even if I had eggs, to be honest, because I got too much treatment. So I did get some eggs and I we managed to create some embryos. So obviously not pregnant yet, but the fact that I could even one create eggs was just a miracle. And then the fact that they were good enough to turn into embryos is just a whole. So some haven't taken and some were miscarriages and things like that, but that's just a whole other journey that I'm still on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, if you don't mind me asking, are you trying to carry the baby or are you looking?
Speaker 3:Okay, so initially, yes, and people think I'm crazy. And no, my husband and I have this discussion with many doctors and with each other and I'm a what if? Sort of person is in the terms of, if I don't try, I'm gonna think for the rest of my life, what if I did try? And so we're basically gonna try until either my body says to me no, enough's enough, or financially or whatever the situation is mentally like. That's a whole nother level of strength there. Surrogacy is very hard in Australia. There's a whole bunch of rules where you're not allowed to advertise for a surrogate. Someone has to essentially volunteer, and there's a whole bunch of legalities with it as well. Overseas is an option as well, so we might have to explore that one day, and then our last resort would definitely be adoption as well. But again, in Australia that's a whole nother thing. So we're just starting off with the basics and then working our way through that yeah, if I had my parts, because I had a full hysterectomy I would totally volunteer.
Speaker 2:That is, that was yeah. I always wanted to do surrogacy and the reason was because when I was 19, I was told that I couldn't have kids and so I didn't end up doing IVF, but I did do 18 months of fertility treatments and it's hard.
Speaker 3:It's time You've got to have medication, you've got to have scans. Like it is hard.
Speaker 2:It is hard and heartbreaking all together.
Speaker 3:And when.
Speaker 2:It's crazy, because when I finally said to my husband at the time my, now my ex-husband but when I finally was like I'm done, I can't do this anymore, we were on our way. We were gonna go on vacation that month, um to visit family, and we're from Puerto Rico, and I said I have this last round of pills and I'm done, I can't anymore. This has been a year and a half. I'm only like 20 years old, 21. And I'm like I just can't continue this. This is just so hard. And so we went on vacation and that was the first ovulation I had in. I don't know how long I had in, I don't know how long and I was like hold. Everything we were staying at my mother-in-law's house was my sister-in-law's graduation. This is the crazy part. I remember the day I got pregnant. It was.
Speaker 2:May 25th and I was like we're not going to a party, we're going to have our own party.
Speaker 2:This hasn't happened in so long and so it just. It was one of those moments that I was like I can't even believe it. And so, given the fact that I had gone through so much like ups and downs and heartbreaks and all the things if I had, I always wanted to. I talked about wanting adopt or, yeah, being a surrogate, because I was then blessed with not just my daughter, my oldest daughter, but I had two more afterwards that's amazing and I was like, oh, I wish I could.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I had a full hysterectomy, so I can't carry it anymore but man, that's an example of like and that's what I feel, like when you, when you're at the end of that, you've had enough and you're like that's it, I'm gonna throw everything at this last one because that's it, I'm done. After that, yeah, I mean it just works. And I love those stories because, yeah, it's crazy that anything can happen at any time, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Yes, the desire was always there, but it was just like allowing yourself to just trust that whatever, whatever, I'm not even, I'm not even going to push it anymore. You're just going to allow things to happen. And I was on vacation so I was relaxed and, yeah, it is that moment of like I understand your what if. So that's why I'm asking. I asked because I understand that what if? And wanted to know, like I know, that you've had some surgery, so I didn't know if that created extra complications obviously I'll be a high risk pregnancy, which is inevitable, obviously.
Speaker 3:But I've got a really good team of doctors now and I've got everything lined up and I've got full trust in them now. So that doesn't worry me, it's just the whole getting it, getting there in the first place. That's the part, and I did. I put so much pressure on myself because, like when you touched on about being relaxed, I think it makes such a difference because initially I was putting so much pressure on myself and things weren't working and I wasn't even getting eggs at one stage because I think I had that much pressure on myself. And then I was overthinking everything and I think, yeah, now I'm gonna go back into it. Like I took a break, I had to. I was like I can't keep doing this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, mentally emotionally it is so draining and physically like.
Speaker 3:I think physically is probably the last it is, it honestly is, and so, like I've been so grateful to throughout everything I've been through, I haven't suffered any mental diagnoses and I think I was on the verge with IVF because that's how it affected me mentally and you don't realize like I was. Like go and cut my head open 10 times over. I'll go and do that put me to an IVF situation and it's a whole different ball game there. Yeah, exactly, so I'll get there eventually you will.
Speaker 2:I truly believe in and I think that your story is now international and I think that you'll have more people rooting for you, and I completely believe in the power of prayer or intention and whatever. That is right. So when you put good intention out to the world and you look at the at life, the way that you're looking at it and the way that you take it on, I think that creates this extra community of people that back you up, no matter what, and I feel like a part of my like. I had cancer four times. The third and fourth time it was at the age of 32 and I was a single mom of three kids and, like all of these things were, I would have been so scary. I leaned into a community, yeah, and I was very vocal about everything that I was going through and I was like, okay, I need all of the good intentions, all the good vibes, whatever you believe in your God, whatever, however, you decide that you need to like connect to a higher.
Speaker 2:Whatever you do, just send good vibes my way and I really truly feel that, like, the more we have that, the more we put our story out there, the more good intentions and good vibes and good prayers and good all of that goes your way, and then you just have to trust and that everything will work out. The maybe it's that there's a kid out there that really needs us, that is already like already alive, that is already here, and maybe that's the journey. Maybe I have to just trust that's the journey.
Speaker 2:And and it was like this sense of and that was like that month, at the beginning of that month of May of that year. I looked at my husband at the time and I was just like maybe it's just that. Maybe it's just that like I'm pushing for this so much, but maybe it's because the kid that needs us.
Speaker 3:That needs me to be their mom, you to be.
Speaker 2:Their dad is already here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and that needs our love. That's all. Maybe that's the case and it's just that moment of surrender that you're like. Whatever it needs to be. Yeah. And then life does its little thing and and then you get your miracle in the end, exactly Whatever that may be, I think, even with all of your surgeries and everything, it's just knowing that I took the action steps to get better.
Speaker 3:That's right.
Speaker 2:So, however that may look, yeah, if it's not IVF, if it's whatever, whatever it is, I'm on the right path because I'm doing it all with good intention.
Speaker 3:And a lot of people ask me oh, how can you believe in a higher power or whatever you want to believe in, when you've been through all this? Like all this stuff's horrible? And I'm like, yeah, but you know what? All this, like all this stuff's horrible. And I'm like, yeah, but you know what? Someone or something is looking out there for me, because I wouldn't have got through any of this without that. Yeah, absolutely, and, like you said, it's grown me as a person. It's made me who I am today.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't be this person if I hadn't gone through any of that, so I've got to be grateful for that yeah, absolutely, and I think that when we like, when you're in a place where you have come so close to not being here anymore, there's just a different way to look at life, with the lens of full-on gratitude, that there isn't time for wasting it on the that energy, that those that thought process do.
Speaker 3:We have our moments absolutely and our moments are so necessary for us to be able to process.
Speaker 2:All the things are so needed, yeah, um. But to stay stuck in those moments, it's not worth it.
Speaker 3:Oh, trust me, I have had my moment. There has been times where I've been stuck in my bed and then I get like tell myself off. I'm like no, stop it. Like you've had your moment, now Get out there and do your thing, yeah.
Speaker 2:I think I used to say all the time everything happens for a reason, and then I shifted that I was listening I don't remember what, I think it was Rachel Hollis, but she mentioned something that really made me shift, that saying yeah, don't think that everything happens for a reason, because there's not a reason that a child has to go through the things that you went through.
Speaker 3:True, yeah, I like that.
Speaker 2:However, I do think that there's a purpose for everything that we go through and there's a meaning behind all of it, and so if that, if we can take a moment and find that purpose and that meaning, then everything happened the way it needed to, exactly. Yeah, because now we have a bigger purpose. Now, with your story, you can help so many other people that would be my absolute dream.
Speaker 3:That is my dream. If I can help anyone out there, then by all means I'd be more than happy to just be their buddy and just be there and say, hey, I'm rooting for you, I've got, you've got this.
Speaker 2:I know you can do it yeah, so what's your thought process when you receive a diagnosis? It's not an easy thing, but I want to know what your process is my thought process.
Speaker 3:Well, it's different. I feel like most people would just cry emotions are very big thing and most people would just think, oh my God, my life is shattered, and they'll start crying. They don't know what to do. I suppose mine's more of like a I don't know a logical thinking where I just go okay, so you've told me I've got this now and then it's all right.
Speaker 3:So now I need to work out how long I'm going to be in treatment. For what is the treatment? Am I going to have to have a surgery? Is it just going to be a drip? Is it going to be this? Do I need to stop working? And so I just analyze my. It's more analytical, that's the word. So I just basically analyze the whole situation and just prepare myself with okay, I've got a speed bump ahead of me. This is what I need to do to get over it. Let's make a plan. I'm all for plans. Let's put a plan in place and let's do it. And obviously, those plans are not always going to stick. They're not always going to be perfect plans and along the way, you're gonna have to divert a few times and yeah, yeah, like you have to have a plan and also allow yourself to flow through it.
Speaker 3:That's right, yeah so it's like okay, well, I've done this and all this was good and that worked, but now I've got this little issue, so let's fix that, let's get back on the straight and narrow sort of thing. Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2:I love that. So, yeah, I do have my moments and it's okay to have your moments.
Speaker 3:I believe strongly that people do need to mourn and grieve and realize what's happening, but I think it's the ability to get out of that as quickly as possible, to then just move on. And I always look at something big in the future, like back a few years I had my wedding to look forward to, or I had a holiday to look forward to or whatever was going on in my life at that point in time. So I always missed on that and gone. Well, I need to get over there in 12 months time, so how do I get there?
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly. I love that because it is part of it. It's part of no-transcript. Okay, my goal is to get to that vacation or to that wedding. What do I need to do for me so that I could check that? Yeah, yeah, exactly. So how do you continue to smile and laugh after everything that you've been through?
Speaker 3:that's yeah, I get this all the time and I think it's just. I always look at life lightheartedly as well, in a way that I don't think it's all serious all the time. I think, yes, you need to be serious in certain situations and things, but go and have fun. Go and enjoy your life, like life's way too short. Don't be so hard on yourself. If you want to go and eat that burger, go and have fun. Go and enjoy your life like life's way too short. Don't be so hard on yourself. If you want to go and eat that burger, go and eat that burger. Go and have a laugh like. I suppose that and I've grown to be resilient. What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to sit there and sob every day and feel sorry for myself like that's not a good quality of life? But I want to be happy and smiley.
Speaker 3:I want other people to be happy and smiley. So I think it's just that resilience. And also I do think about what I've been through in the past, but I don't let it affect me, like it's been there, it's done, it's in the past. So this is now and right now. I just want to be happy.
Speaker 2:It's so yeah yeah, I feel like we've already survived our worst day and the fact that, like those are already behind us, the only thing that we have is to look forward to the present, because tomorrow is not, definitely not promised, and yesterday already happened, so why dwell on that?
Speaker 3:exactly and remember what grew you and turn you into the person, but don't let it define you. I never let any of this define me, ever to everyone. I'm just simply Amelia, that's it. Like, yeah, and all my medical issues even now, they just live next to me, they live by my side and that's it god.
Speaker 2:I love that so much. It speaks to my soul. You're resilient and motivated. What made you like this? I think I had no choice.
Speaker 3:I had no choice. That's what it was, and I'm grateful for that, because I gained these new skills. I learned how to be resilient, I learned to be motivated. Yeah, when you're in these situations, you've got two options you can give up or you can fight it, and I've chosen to fight every single time. And yeah, I think, when you're presented these bad situations or whatever you want to call them, yeah, you've got no choice.
Speaker 2:I feel like we do have a choice. You just choose the better option, because we do have a choice. I know some people that choose to continue to live in that victimhood and that, like, if you want to live a good life, victim is definitely not the place you want to be. So what I should?
Speaker 3:say for me, I don't have a choice. Yeah, my choice is always gonna be to fight. I'm not done. I've got so many things I want to do and I'm not ready to leave.
Speaker 2:Yeah yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I love that. What have you struggled with the most? And I know that the eyelid. I know that was tough. You said what let helped you walk through that and rebuild that confidence talking to people about it initially.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was always worried. Well, the first thing was, yeah, the staring. But I couldn't help that that I can't do anything about that. I was also worried about being with someone like a friend or a family member in public, and I was worried how they would feel being with someone like a friend or a family member in public. And I was worried how they would feel being around someone that looked different. But then when I started going out back out into public and telling people these things, they were just looking at me, going are you stupid? Like stop thinking that way. Like no, like we want to be with you. I'm like yeah, but don't you feel awkward being in front of someone that looks different? They're like no. So I think it's that acceptance.
Speaker 3:Once I was accepted for the way I looked, that's what helped move my confidence. Like I would never dare get in front of the camera to take a photo ever. And then I slowly started to do that and yes, okay, I've got a certain hairstyle that does cover most of the eye which I'm working through eventually I'll expose it, but I started off doing that. And then I would start to go to local places and go out for lunch and whatever else I wanted to do, and then I'd start to go into more people with crowds and then I wrote the book. And then that's when I was like, well, well, I need to get out there now. So I went into the photo shoot and that's what cemented my confidence, I think, and that gave me the real confidence booster, because one, I was accepted by the photographer.
Speaker 3:And then I had all these beautiful photos and I'm like, well, I need to share them. So I started sharing them. And then I started doing, yes, like some zoom calls and things, and jumping on webinars and no one was saying anything and I thought, okay, well, that's good, that's really good. And then I've done a couple of speaking gigs in front of like. My last one was in front of 200 people, and so I got up on stage and I spoke to 200 people and it was one of my first big ones and everyone was coming up to me afterwards and they were just, they weren't even talking about my eye, they were just saying you're inspirational, you're amazing, whatever they've said. And I was like, okay, well, they're not even noticing, they're not saying anything. And so, yeah, I think it's just that start off with baby steps, go into that little direction of baby steps and then grow from there, but then also surround yourself with people that will accept you, and there is a lot out there that will yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3:I love that.
Speaker 2:So I feel like you had a lot of roadblocks that you had to overcome, but what do you feel like was the biggest roadblock? Do you feel like it was the confidence, or was there something else, that that that you would want someone to take away from your story?
Speaker 3:yeah, limiting confidence, but also the trying to remain positive. And it's hard. Trust me, like I'm not going to say it's easy, but you just need to hone in and find, like we said before, something to look forward, to Do what you want to do what makes you happy. Really, take care of yourself. Like I had to learn to listen to my body. I've got 10,000 things going on at once and I was burning out all the time and so now I've had to learn. Well, my body's tired, it needs rest, so go and take that half an hour rest or hour rest and recuperate.
Speaker 2:So there's just so many aspects that it's so hard to pinpoint down to one really yeah, and then is there any like daily habits or rituals that you say that would help, that help you get to that level of?
Speaker 3:absolutely, yeah, positivity. And from physical point of view, like drinking a lot of water. I try and eat well most of the time but let's be honest, I don't believe anyone that says they eat 100% well all the time. So as long as I'm trying and trying to put good food into me, then that's fine, but I will have the sticky whatever like the chocolate and whatever else I feel like for the day. I've had to learn to love exercise. I hate exercising. You would never find me at the gym by myself. So I've had to get a personal trainer to keep me accountable and I've got to get a personal trainer to keep me accountable and I've got to do that for my bones. I've got no choice. Like, exercise has to be part of my life now. But it's funny, because I hate going there. I hate getting there. But then once I've done my workout, I feel so good and I'm like, oh, I'm so glad I went now.
Speaker 2:I always say I do it for the after feeling. That's it.
Speaker 3:It's so true Because there's times I wake up and I'm like, oh, do I really have to go? Like, no, get yourself out of bed and go. And then I'm so glad afterwards that I've gone. And yeah, it's every day is different. Someday, like you, have bad days, there's days where I can't get out of bed, and that's just what it is, and you just do what you can that day. But when I have a really good day, I utilize that day as well and I'm like great, I'm having a great day, so I'm full of energy, I'm gonna get whatever I want done today. So, yeah, just basically listening to yourself and looking after yourself that's so good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think self-care that literally changed the trajectory of my life. So I that's. That is what I dedicate my life to. Doing now is just, my oxygen mask goes on first. I take care of me first, because if I don't, then how am I going to be here for my kids, for anybody else in my life? So, yeah it's. I wholeheartedly believe in all the things that you are saying. Any other things that you want to just give us before we end today?
Speaker 3:I suppose my well, I haven't even told anyone my title of my book, have I?
Speaker 2:No, I said it because I think that at the beginning? Yeah, because I said that sounds familiar to me.
Speaker 3:That's right. You did too, my apologies. No, the only thing I'd like to end with was I made up a quote, and it is. Being positive doesn't mean that everything's good. It's the ability to see the good in everything, and I strongly believe no matter what, no matter how shitty the situation is, there is always something good. Whether it's small or big, there is always something good in every single situation. Like I said before, a cancer diagnosis is not good. You understand, you've been through it but the fact that it was my opportunity to go blonde like that was fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'll take that, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 3:To me that's the good thing about it. And like everything thinned out, I lost all my hair. I didn't have to shave for six months like I was hairless. So like win for us. So just seeing those little light-hearted things, and yeah, there's always definitely a good inner situation.
Speaker 2:I love that. I love that quote. It gave me goosebumps because I wholeheartedly believe the same thing it's. It's finding the purpose and the meaning behind things.
Speaker 3:And I just oh, that's so oh my gosh, I was just writing my book and I come up with that quote and I'm like oh, did I just make up a quote? I think I did.
Speaker 2:Yes, I love that. I am so incredibly honored to have met you.
Speaker 2:I feel like this we have to stay connected, obviously because I want to know all of the things and honestly, I'm just I hope that my, our listeners got so much out of today and just I really truly, from like the bottom of my heart, I am sending all of the positive and good energy and prayers and all intentions, all the things, because I think that you are the light. You became the lighthouse for so many people with your story and I feel like I can honestly say, just meeting you now I know why people don't even look at the fact that your eye won't open. Yeah, your energy is so absolutely beautiful that it radiates light from it.
Speaker 2:So I think that, if anything, it's just another part of your character and that's like you're just, you're just winking at us because you have so much energy that's exactly right but I, I, just I am so honored. Thank you so much for jumping on listeners again. I hope you got so much out of today. Um, like I did, I was completely in awe listening to Amelia's story. I am just so excited for this to be heard and for your story to be out there and go buy her book like immediately.
Speaker 2:I hope everyone has an amazing rest of their day. Peace out. Thank you for listening. Love your life. Bye-bye.
