Against All Odds Podcast, The Less than 1% Chance with Maria Aponte
Maria highlights stories of people that have been the "less than 1% chance" and have come out of their situations thriving and seeing life as happening FOR them and not TO them! Inspiring and empowering stories that will show you that against all odds you can make it through anything!
Against All Odds Podcast, The Less than 1% Chance with Maria Aponte
The Healing Journey of Friendship and Hope
What happens when two women, barely acquainted, find themselves on a journey they never imagined? Becky and Ashley’s tale of unexpected friendship formed in the shadow of cancer is nothing short of extraordinary. We unravel their compelling narrative of resilience, exploring how they turned a life-altering diagnosis into an unbreakable bond. Becky, initially dismissed by her doctor, shares her shocking experience of being diagnosed with stage three HER2 positive breast cancer, drawing poignant parallels with my own story of battling cervical cancer. Their story is a powerful reminder of human connection and the strength found in sharing one's journey.
Being a mother while fighting cancer presents its own set of challenges. Becky candidly open up about the emotional and physical struggles of parenting amidst illness. Her raw conversation reveals the profound sorrow of not being fully present for their children and the gratitude for the understanding and support they received. From meaningful connections with fellow cancer fighters to the tragic loss of a cherished friend, she underscores the importance of community and mutual understanding. The transition to NED (No Evidence of Disease) status is celebrated, signifying not just personal triumph but the shared strength that helped them through.
Their journey doesn’t just stop at survival; it blossoms into empowerment. Becky delves into their holistic approaches to healing, blending traditional treatments with alternative therapies like dietary changes and energy healing. Their podcast, "Two Girls with Cancer," is born from a desire to support others navigating similar paths. With heartfelt discussions, they stress the power of self-advocacy and trusting one's instincts in medical situations. Join us for an inspiring episode that celebrates healing, community, and the transformative power of shared stories.
Connect with Becky:
IG for Podcast: @twogirlswithoutcancer
IG for Becky: @cancerandstuff
IG for Ashley: @getlacossed
YouTube: Two Girls With (Out) Cancer
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Welcome back to the Against All Odds the Less Than 1% Chance podcast with your host, Maria Aponte, where we will hear stories of incredible people thriving against all odds, and my hope is that we can all see how life is always happening for us, even when we are the Less Than 1% Chance.
Speaker 1:Hey, hey, welcome back to Against All Odds, the Less Than 1% Chance podcast, with your host, maria Aponte. I am so excited to have you guys back. Just be ready for this incredible story. I am just reading through the notes that I had. I'm baffled as to how people come into your life and I always say people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and sometimes how those people come into your life and I always say people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime and sometimes how those people come into your life is mind blowing. And so this was originally supposed to be Ashley and Becky. However, ashley is not available and we can go into that, but I want to give you a background of their story and then ask Becky to jump in and give us some story behind the intro.
Speaker 1:Basically, so Ashley and Becky were both diagnosed with aggressive cancers only one month apart in 2023. They didn't know each other, but they had mutual friends. They eventually connected and realized that they lived like five minutes apart. Ashley was 37 at the time, a single mom of one and diagnosed with stage four neuroendocrine cancer, and Becky was 36 at the time and married mom of two and was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer. Both had a ton of treatment and both are currently cancer free. Yay for that. They started a podcast recently to share their stories and to help others that are going through the same journey. So, becky, welcome. Thank you for being here.
Speaker 3:Thank you so much for having me us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, give my love to Ashley and if we want to just give a snippet as to your against all odd story and kind of where Ashley's at and where your stories combined.
Speaker 3:Sure, so I'll just give a brief intro to who I am. So, as you said, I'm Becky. And yeah, I was 36 last year and I was healthy Like I was a healthy girl mom. I've got two almost teenagers and I had a physical and I was healthy, like I was a healthy girl Mom, I've got two almost teenagers and I had a physical and I was fine.
Speaker 3:And I had asked the doctor to do a breast exam with the physical. He said no, we don't do that anymore. We'll just send you for a mammogram If there's an issue. Do you have an issue? And I said well, I don't know, I don't think so. So I went about my way. Well, I don't know, I don't think so. So I went about my way.
Speaker 3:Well, four or five months later my nipple turned in, it went completely flat. And I thought, well, that seems odd. And I remember reading about breast cancer symptoms and that was one of them. And I went to the doctor same guy and again he didn't want to look at it and I don't know what his deal was. But he sent me for an ultrasound and while I was there they said you need a mammogram as well. And I was there for just a couple minutes on the table while they were looking on the ultrasound. The ultrasound they were very thorough with it, but maybe more thorough than a regular ultrasound. But yeah, I'd only been there, it was just a short amount of time and they said we're just gonna go get the manager as well and she's gonna look it over.
Speaker 3:I thought the girl was new and she needed some help, but no, it's because that they saw a bunch of cancer. So I ended up having to have a biopsy. That day they biopsied three tumor spots, so I was thinking one tumor, and now they found three tumors. And then, after I was diagnosed and had an MRI, they had found multiple tumors, like seven or eight or I can't even remember. Honestly, there's parts of it that I feel like I've actually blocked out already, but there was quite a few.
Speaker 3:And then they'd also found some on the left side, but without biopsying they didn't know what those were. Also found some on the left side, but without biopsying they didn't know what those were. So all I knew at this point is that I was 36, healthy, and I now had cancer. And when the report came in it said stage three HER2 positive cancer. I didn't know what that meant. I just knew that stage four was a terminal diagnosis, so stage three is one under that, and I was completely shocked, blown away. I had no idea that would have been in me, because I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel any lumps, I didn't feel sick, I didn't feel anything at all.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and can you? I've never heard of it being called HER2. So can you give this kind of a little bit of backstory on what that means?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so there are different types of breast cancer there's, I guess what people think of most commonly is your estrogen progesterone positive. So that's caused by your ovaries, right? Your hormones are a little out of whack. Well, mine was ERPR, estrogen progesterone receptive negative and HER2 positive. So it basically just means it's coming from a different part of your body. I almost wanted it to come from my hormones, because then at least then I would know why it happened, yeah, but it didn't. It basically is just the receptor. There's a HER and I can't remember the name of it right now but the HER2 receptor in your body and it just it wasn't signaling properly and then it creates more cancer cells.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so crazy. There's just so much different kind of things out there diseases that you're like when something like this happened.
Speaker 1:I had cervical cancer when I was 18, then 19, and then twice at 32. And I didn't understand why and how and like why was I so young and so forth. And when I find out it was because I was sexually assaulted at 16. And he gave me the HPV strand that caused cancer. And because I didn't say anything, because I kept quiet, I never went to the doctor, never got checked and this manifested into this cancer. And my very first well woman checkup at 18, it was already cancer and I was like what is happening with life right now, and so it's.
Speaker 1:There's so many different things, so many different ways of these, like diseases manifesting in your body, and you're like, how could you even keep up? So when you were in that process of like, is this genetics or this is just something that is just one off, yeah, it happens.
Speaker 3:So I had a test on a whole bunch of genetic testing just to see if I was a carrier or had that gene. No, it was completely a one off. So I've joked around for the last year like I'm just blessed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely and honestly I wholeheartedly believe in. Sometimes, when you're going through it, it's really hard to see. But I feel like life is always happening for you and not to you. And until you survive your worst day, you don't realize how strong you are. You don't realize why you were maybe given this unfortunate blessing in disguise. Right, you found a friend from it. So give us an idea of how you and Ashley came to be.
Speaker 3:Sure, yeah. So my first month obviously a whirlwind. I had refused to do treatment here, and here is Canada and I just didn't want to. I thought I was going to do this, really naturally, and so I ended up in Mexico, in Tijuana, doing treatment, and they are renowned for their cancer clinics in Mexico, Well, in a lot of South America and Central America. And anyway, I ended up in Mexico and I remember my first week or two being there.
Speaker 3:A guy from high school that I hadn't talked to in almost 20 years had sent me a Facebook message and he said hey, my best friend is like our age and she's from here and she was just diagnosed with cancer. And I don't know what to do. Should I set up a GoFundMe for her? Should I like? How do I help her kind of thing? Where should I send her for treatment? And so I said let me talk to her. I found out her name. I saw that we had a ton of mutual friends on Facebook and I thought how the heck don't I know this girl? I grew up in this town and then I moved away and then I've been back for six or seven years. So I thought, how have I never met? She was even friends with my brother, so like I don't know oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't know how we hadn't connected. So I reached out and she was so lovely, she was so open to having a stranger talk to her, probably because you feel so alone and in such a dark place when you're first diagnosed that it's like if somebody can relate to your story at like just even one person that means everything.
Speaker 3:And so her and I had actually had connected with another girl from our town as well I think she was about 40 or 41. So not much older than us, also from the same little town, and she had just been diagnosed actually re-diagnosed with cancer. She had had it before. And so the three of us would talk independently, like her and I or me and this other girl or those two, and we just supported each other through the whole thing.
Speaker 3:Now, unfortunately, that girl had passed away in October and so that really I think it lit a fire under Ashley's and my vets, because we realized like this disease is so powerful and it actually takes people, like every time that this girl would say I found this new treatment, I feel like I'm getting better and the doctors are hopeful, and like she would send me to go see the same doctors or the same naturopaths as her and we'd be on a lot of the same medication or supplements and things, and so that really hit home for both of us because all of a sudden this girl that we would bounce ideas off of and support was no longer there, and so up until point, so it would, it had been from March until October that Ashley and I had connected, but never in person, just because of my health, her health, we just never got together.
Speaker 3:And so when this friend passed away, I picked her up to go to the funeral and her and I both just sat there at the funeral bawling and even though we barely even knew this girl, but it just hit home so hard for both of us so that really united her and I together. So since then that was just October we have really deepened our friendship and grown in it, because we've both seen NED, so no evidence of a disease in this time. Hers was, I think, around September, august, september, and then mine was in December. So we've both kind of experienced this together and we've been able to support each other.
Speaker 3:And, as I said, like no one really understands what you're going through, your friends can support you great and in mine have been so wonderful but no one really understands unless they've gone through this same sort of situation yeah, and the emotional roller coaster that it takes.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you could just be like, okay, and then just like you feel like the weight of the world on you and I remember experiencing it at 18 and 19 and I just like, wait, I haven't lived. And then, when I experienced it at 32, and I was a single mom of three kids, I was like this is a whole different ballgame. Now I have kids. What happens to me if I don't take care of myself? Yeah, and it made it more of like all right, I need to put my oxygen mask on first. As much as I love them, I'm number one priority because if.
Speaker 1:I don't take care of me. Exactly, I won't be here for them, yeah.
Speaker 3:And I talk about that a lot because she's a single mom. Her boy was three when she was sick and my girls were 10 and 12 when I got sick and like how do you be there for them when you're going through some stuff? I went away for six weeks for treatment and now I was away from them and maybe this is like a TMI moment. But my youngest daughter, she was 10, she got her period the day before I left and I wasn't there to be with her, like to navigate. Luckily she had her older sister and her grandma was around. But I said to her I'm so sorry that I'm leaving you alone to do this. And my kids understood because they were older, but like Ashley's son, he was three, so he doesn't understand. She said even now he struggles with it. Mom, don't die, please don't leave things like that as a now four-year-old, leave things like that as a now four-year-old. So it's really hard to parent and you feel so much. Shame, mom, shame mom guilt, whatever that is.
Speaker 3:Because you haven't been there a hundred percent of the time for them or you don't have the energy to be there for them, Even though, when you take a step back and look at it like you've done the best that you absolutely can.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I, oh my gosh, I feel that so much. The year that happened, my kids obviously didn't get the best of me and I held my son back in fifth grade where, like I, had to sit down with the principal and explain listen, he struggled this year and I wasn't there to be able to help and guide him a little bit better, pick up the pieces. This is the situation and I'm forever grateful to that principal. He graduated just a few weeks ago now and from high school and it was the same principal he moved from the elementary school to the high school. So I was just like you've literally been there for us in so many different aspects. I'm so thankful. But then, at the same time, I had my oldest daughter, which was in sixth grade at the time and she was struggling and they wouldn't allow her to be held back and she struggled all the way through high school and graduated, but always graduated like being like pushed ahead. And.
Speaker 1:I saw the difference in what the confidence that it built in my son versus the struggle that my oldest was going through and my little one was still kindergarten kind of thing. But so she, she was fine. And it's mind blowing what we have to do to then understand that we have to just take care of us, because at this point everything has to pause and unfortunately life doesn't pause but our roles sometimes have to and we have to allow others to take it, come in and that feels wrong sometimes because we handle so much. But yeah, it's definitely something that unfortunately, we still feel guilt around. Oh yeah, and it should actually be celebrated.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah, I know there's so many events that I missed my kids sporting events and things like that, whether because I was in Mexico for treatment or I was just sick here because I did end up doing chemo here, and there was a lot of events I missed. And there was this one day at my kid's soccer where they they do their three, two, one go and they were like three, two, one, becky, and they sent me the video and I just like bawled my eyes out and it was like I wanted to be there so bad. And even now, like this season for everything, there are a lot of days where I'm just too tired to go, like I want to be there. I feel like there's no reason why I can't be there, but it's like I'm so tired. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I know it's hard to even think about. But having grace with ourselves is we are being the example for our family. So what we grant ourselves is what they are going to be able to number one grant for themselves and grant others.
Speaker 1:And so sometimes we have to look back and say you know what, like they have the best example of having this problem and doing whatever it took to get to this solution or this progress and and sometimes we don't see it that way, especially when we're in it and we're feeling all the feelings and all the things are like happening but the fact that we're able to be that example for them because I know that my kids can handle anything, because they were able to handle already their worst day- yeah.
Speaker 1:And so it's a great way of looking at it, yeah yeah, and prepares them right. It prepares them for having more empathy, compassion, love for others. The way that we handle things is that literally their roadmap to how to be a good person and compassionate and so forth. So I know sometimes it's so hard because we're in it, yeah, and we're just exhausted, and but it just it feels when you look back, I think it's easier to see how that connects to something so much more beautiful.
Speaker 1:So what do you feel were the biggest challenges through this journey, other than the parenting stuff?
Speaker 3:Well, at first the challenge was it just people's opinions about what I should do, like I was very set on going a holistic route, like no one was going to change my mind. And even my husband was like, no, you need to do chemo and surgery and radiation because that's what you do. And I was really struggling with that because I thought this is my body and I get to do what I want with it. But the problem is like when you take a holistic route, it's going to cost you some money and we just didn't have it. It's just to say all of a sudden oh yeah, we need X amount of thousands of dollars to go to treatment. We didn't have it and, yeah, he struggled with the idea of that. He didn't want us to go into debt over this, when we live in Canada and majority of my treatment is free. Yeah.
Speaker 3:I just I didn't want that for myself. And even getting my family on board and even some friends like they thought why, what are you doing going to Mexico for treatment? You have what people consider top of the line treatment here in Canada. But I didn't want that for me and so I went to Mexico, I did my thing and when I came back I still needed more. And I think that was probably the biggest challenge was even humbling myself enough to accept the help here, knowing that I was going to lose my hair, knowing that I was going to lose my boob. Like that was very humbling. And it took me a long time. Like I didn't start conventional treatment here in Canada until the end of June and I'd been diagnosed February 1st. So it had taken me a while to actually get on board. And then the treatment starts and you're just so gassed from it.
Speaker 3:So there was a lot of challenges, for sure, through all of it, but I really do believe that all of the holistic stuff that I did leading up to it really prepared my body to handle it. And I actually sailed through chemo pretty well. I felt like it was hard at the time but looking back and comparing it to other people's journeys with it, I think I sailed through it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so what kind of treatment did you do holistically?
Speaker 3:Oh my gosh, what didn't I do so when I went to Mexico? I well, funny enough, the first day I get there, both of my doctors down there say you need to do chemo, and I said no, I don't need to do chemo, like that's why I came here. They convinced me that I was going to do chemo and I did a low dose. It's called insulin potentiated therapy in Mexico. So I didn't lose my hair, I didn't feel sick, nothing like that, and it actually worked very well and all of the tumors in the breast itself were gone, but the lymph nodes were still left. In that it's obviously the big one. But anyway, I did a bunch of IVs there.
Speaker 3:So glutathione, which is like a master antioxidant in your body, I was getting IVs of that. Sodium bicarbonate, so like a baking soda, it's just to create alkalinity in your body. A multivitamin one obviously, vitamins are pretty self-explanable. What are the other ones now? Calculation therapy, so that's a heavy metal detox, okay. And then DMSO that one is for inflammation in your body. So your body will really like it can't host cancer in an alkaline body or a low inflamed body. Cancer loves inflammation and acidity. So yeah.
Speaker 3:And so I did that there.
Speaker 1:And so did you change your way of eating and yeah, completely.
Speaker 3:As soon as I found out, I went raw vegan and I I hated it, to be honest. And it didn't last long because it just didn't sit well with my body. I'm a big believer in eating for your blood type and things like that. So I'm an O positive, which is a red meat eater, and so to go, raw vegan, a lot of vegetables. I was in a lot of pain and I had so much brain fog.
Speaker 3:It just did not sit well with my body. But everything that I had been reading about breast cancer said that meat is very inflammatory for you and yeah, I think that there's.
Speaker 1:I feel like there needs to be further research. Research, if you will because I feel like the where it's coming from is important. How they raise their cows, whatever is important, that, I think, is super. What I've learned right in my years of.
Speaker 1:It's been eight and a half years since I've well now nine years since I had cancer last, and I feel like that it is all relative, to like it's just changing. I had to change my lifestyle completely. I never ate vegetables. I'm Hispanic and apparently we don't believe in at least Puerto Ricans don't believe in having vegetables in their diet, because I grew up not doing it.
Speaker 3:A lot of carbs, a lot of meat. A lot of carbs, a lot of fried.
Speaker 1:A lot of fried and so if we think of, and then a lot of sweets too. So like sugar, like how sugar inflames your body and how like there's just so many things that I had to flip in my own health and then, like moving my body, I wasn't working out. That helps with the depression that I was dealing with and with just getting my body healthy drinking water. Oh my gosh, what a concept trying.
Speaker 3:I it's so hard. Yeah, I should all take a sip right now right, let's take a water break I never drink water and every time I go for any sort of treatment they're like where are your veins?
Speaker 1:I'm like I don't know I drink about a gallon a day. I just know that I need to fill this four times. Okay, that's a lot, it's pretty.
Speaker 3:It's so pretty.
Speaker 1:And I, and it's good when you have a straw, because if you think about it like when you're like trying to chug up water, it's so much more work than just opening and sipping Right.
Speaker 1:So I found I figured out what would work for me, and those things were like I have a pretty water bottle it's my friends call it my emotional support water bottle. I carry it around everywhere and because that is the only thing that I drink, that and like my pre-workout, which is all natural as well. So I found things that I needed to figure out in my nutrition and my daily habits and that was the catalyst. The biggest thing was the mindset. The mindset was everything, because I felt like if I wasn't listening to some type of personal growth or inspirational things, the negative thoughts just took over.
Speaker 1:Go to the dark place, oh my gosh, that dark place is so hard to get out of when you have everything else coming at you.
Speaker 1:So I started my days with listening to 10 minutes of some type of personal growth, and so it just became those little habits of a full lifestyle change that shifted everything around and I was just like, oh and once I went in. So I had my first surgery in 2015, in June, and then I was supposed to go four months later to get checked. And I did and the follow up, the cancer had come back. And so, october, I was like I had started my health journey at the end of August.
Speaker 1:So I had been like a month and a half in and I felt like the weight of the world and my I was in an accountability group and I told my accountability partner I was like I'm tapping out, I'm done, I can't, this is too much, I can't handle all of it all at the same time. She's like you are not stopping. You are making so much progress, you are not stopping. And they made sure that I stayed accountable to my journey right, and when I went, I decided that I was going to get a full hysterectomy. I was 32 years old, with a daughter that had just been diagnosed bipolar, and it like life was chaos and I was like how am I going to go through menopause with?
Speaker 1:because they weren't going to be able to save my ovaries either? How am I going to go through menopause dealing with the things that I'm dealing with, like how is this even going to be possible? But I was like you know what, I'm just gonna just allow life to happen and I'll figure it out. And I went in December 9th for my hysterectomy and he was going to try to save one of my ovaries the other one I didn't have already, but that had a huge cyst in it and he was like I'm going to end up having to come back and take it out, so I'm just taking everything out now. And I was like, okay, we do what we have to do whatever A week later out now. And I was like, okay, we do what we have to do, whatever.
Speaker 1:A week later it was actually my 33rd birthday and the day that I had to go for my follow-up for my pathology, and the doctor's like there's no signs of cancer. I was like what? I was in shock. I was like and I don't know if you can relate to this, but I was like why did I have to have this damn surgery?
Speaker 3:Yeah, if there was no cancer in there.
Speaker 1:If there was no cancer in there. But then at the same time I was so grateful and so like, okay, well, I don't have to worry about this cancer again. So it was just like all these mixed emotions, Like bittersweet a little bit.
Speaker 3:yeah, I felt the same way when I had the mastectomy, because when they did the pathology on that, it had shown that everything had reversed, like you could see in the lymph nodes and everything that cancer had been there and now it had gone back to normal, which they said would probably well, they hoped would happen with the type of treatment that I was on. And then I was like, well, frig, why, why did I lose an entire boob? Then, yeah, seriously, just gone in there and taken a biopsy or something.
Speaker 1:but yeah, I know, and it is that bittersweet and I feel like sometimes you just have to just trust that things are working out the way they need to.
Speaker 3:Yeah, there's a process that you have to trust, and it took me a long time to trust it because I was so anti everything I wouldn't even take a Tylenol unless I felt like I was dying before this and then all of a sudden having to take all these medications and trusting my doctor's plans and stuff, it was, like I said before, very humbling experience for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think it makes us grow as humans just opens our eyes to there's just so much more that can happen. My dad, he passed away in October of 2022 from cancer, but he was very anti any medication, any treatment at all. He was diagnosed first in 2020. And I was like Dad. I understand that you think that grandma and my uncle, his brother, what killed him was the treatment, but that was also like 20 plus years ago. Things have changed and there's different treatments and I'm not telling you to go do it. I'm just telling you go see somebody and make the informed decision. And he was like nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
Speaker 1:So they did surgery. He had bladder cancer, so they removed his bladder. He had a little baggie for the urine, so this was a whole new living, everything. He had never been in a hospital until he was 72 years old, which was a blessing and then, a year later, we find out that it had spread and so he ended up having another surgery and he felt like the neuropathy issues. He felt the pain in his feet and it. I am guessing that it, the, the tumors were sitting on a nerve, but because he just couldn't explain the, the pain in his feet, so we had him get like a full scan head to toe and that was something that like he was like I just need this pain to go away. And when he finally talked to the oncologist, it was like she took the time to explain everything to him and made him feel like he was in charge of his treatment. She was just the facilitator.
Speaker 1:And I was just like I went to every single one of his appointments. I was there like asking all the questions and taking all the notes and he just it was the craziest thing and I get like all emotional just thinking about it. But I remember him going from like I'm just going to go see this person but I'm not doing any treatment to I'll do whatever you think is right. And I looked at my mom and I was like did he just said what? I think he said Like are we scheduling this? It was the craziest thing he got. He started chemotherapy and this man completely was like 10,000 percent better and he had energy and he didn't really lose his hair and like the pain in his feet stopped.
Speaker 1:like almost immediately Like it was insane, and I was just like, wow, dad, like this is crazy. And so he went through his treatments and he did. I want to say it was like six to nine months of treatments I don't remember off the top of my head, starting in 2021. And then when he got into immunotherapy it reversed everything. Like yeah, which is where you think immunotherapy helps your immune system fight all this off.
Speaker 1:No, it did completely the opposite for him, and so we weren't able to get him back on chemo like quick enough for them to do anything. So he did pass away in October. Thank you, October 2022. But one of the things that I said to him and again, I was there, I'm so blessed that I was there throughout this whole time us, that I was there throughout this whole time. One of the things that I said to him was like I'm so happy that you are leaving this world knowing that the treatment wasn't what killed you and knowing that, like you did get better from treatment and like you completely shifted your whole mindset around what things could help you. And so it's so funny how, like we are so set on like nope, this is not for me, and then perspectives change and it's okay for that. It is humbling, it's okay for that to humble you in some ways that you're just like again for me, the same.
Speaker 1:I feel like that surgery I was just like, so like I took about a week to get back to the doctor and say, all right, let's do this, Because I was just like is this even worth it? Like, is menopause at 32, 33 years old going to be worth like. There's just so much more issues that can come from that, and so it. I'm experiencing them now Like I'm like drenched in sweat, hot flashes. It is worth it. I've gotten so many more years of health from it, so so funny how all that works.
Speaker 3:I understand that because my chemo also put me into menopause or I don't know if it's full-blown. The the hot flashes have stopped through chemo. They were the absolute worst, like I would get them in the most inconvenient places, like on an airplane or in the middle of a wedding, or, and I would be like I need to get out of here immediately and I would just sit there like this. I want to rip my wig off, I wanted to just get naked.
Speaker 3:Yeah, those stopped after chemo stopped and they haven't come back. But I know that there are other signs for sure my body's going through it?
Speaker 1:I definitely, yeah, it's. I've learned a lot I've. I don't know if you've heard of or seen her on social media, but there's a doctor that had just put out a new book called the new menopause. It's dr marie claire haver. Mind blown, I feel so seen and heard. There was a study from from years ago that just made hormone replacement therapy a like, a don't do like. Your chances of cancer go up and so forth. And I that's what I was aware of. And so when I had that, the doctor's like, well, are we going to put you on hormone replacement therapy? And I was like I don't need more cancer in my life.
Speaker 1:No and so for eight and a half years, I'm sitting here like no hormone replacement therapy and I could have lived a much better life. It is very eye-opening. I'm very happy that there's so much more information now, but I would urge you to probably like listen or look for her on social media. Everything she puts out is so good and I'm just like gosh, this is such great information for anybody any woman, any man like that or is going to deal with either a spouse, a parent, a child with any hormone issues like it gives you so much information because this wasn't talked about in it.
Speaker 1:We weren't taught this, so it's yeah, I heard.
Speaker 3:I am definitely interested in that, like I have been also told, because I had breast cancer. Though it was hormone negative, the chances of getting a hormone breast cancer is very high. So they say don't take anything with hormones in it. So I'm very cautious. And same with Ashley, because we haven't talked about it. But she had neuroendocrine cancer and hers is a hormone cancer so she's also not allowed to be on anything hormone related. So we always joke on our show she's. She cries all the time and she's like I can't do anything about it.
Speaker 3:My hormones are out, yeah, so it'd be cool even just to learn some things that you can do without necessarily taking hormone replacement therapy or eating whatever Like it would be cool to learn.
Speaker 1:So she has. She has like a toolkit at the end of the book that tells you this is the symptom, these are the, this is the like nutritional route, this is the medical route, this is whatever. It is so good. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm eating all of this information, I'm getting that book. That sounds so good, so good. Yeah, it's definitely opened my eyes. So can you give us maybe a little bit of background on Ashley and because I'm imagining that you know her story pretty well- yeah for sure.
Speaker 3:So yeah, she was diagnosed last year. She just was having these stomach pains and she didn't know what it was. And she ended up at the hospital and they had said your appendix had burst. And so she thought, okay, that's great, because that's what the pain is. Right, who would ever think like, no, it's actually, it's cancer? But yeah, so she had the appendix removed. They send it off for pathology. I guess anytime a piece of you comes out, they send it for that, which is smart. And so they called her back. I think it took a few weeks. They called her back and said it's actually cancer and because her appendix had burst, with the cancer inside, it just shot it everywhere.
Speaker 1:So they had to go back in.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they had to go back in within the month and do a very invasive surgery. I think she lost 30 lymph nodes, a good chunk of her colon, one of her ovaries and fallopian tubes. 30 lymph nodes, a good chunk of her colon, one of her ovaries and fallopian tubes, the peritoneum tissue that like surrounds your organs. They took a bunch of that and they were in there scraping. They had to really clean everything out. So she lost a ton in that surgery.
Speaker 3:And then it, because of how much damage they did in there, it caused a major bowel obstruction in two spots. So all of the scar tissue was creating, yeah, bowel obstruction. And normally with a bowel obstruction they say like it can clear itself for as long as you start going to the bathroom. But it wasn't like that for her because it wasn't necessarily a backup, it was scar tissue pushing on it. So she had to go in for another surgery and get that cleaned up. And yeah, and the reason she's not here today is because she was back in the hospital yesterday. They think the bowel obstruction is back. So when the past year, if she has to do another surgery, that'll be four surgeries and two colonoscopies.
Speaker 3:So she's been on a lot of meds a lot of time in bed and that's where we say a lot of that mom guilt comes from, because she has to spend a lot of time and she has a three, four year old they need a lot of attention. My girls are happy to just go do their thing right. They're teenagers, they're 1311. Now they don't care about what mom wants to do, but a four year old wants to be with mom all the time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, she have a support system she lives with her mom and her sister and I know that they are amazing help for her, for sure. I think she actually has a couple sisters. I am not entirely sure what the living situation is for them, but yeah, she definitely has the mom and her sister close by. Yeah, you can't do it alone.
Speaker 1:You really it is it, it, it really does take a village at that point, like, especially as a single mom, that you don't necessarily have the, that spouse or that partner to pick up the pieces. It literally takes a village and it's like, can you pick them up from school or whatever? And it, it's, yeah, so it's important to have a community. Yeah, experiencing that. Do you know if she's ever considered something like reiki or like an energy healing kind of thing.
Speaker 3:I'm not sure. She definitely does counseling. She sees a lot of counselors. She goes for acupuncture and physio and chiro and things like that. I don't know about energy, yeah, ever really come up. I'm going to guess probably not.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but I will say one thing too about the type of cancer that Ashley had slash has is that there's no cure for it at all.
Speaker 3:It's one of those ones where you just cut it out and then when it comes back you cut it out again and they told her it's not if it comes back, it's when it comes back. And then they said when it comes back and hits a major organ, she has between six months and 15 years to live. It's like the weirdest prognosis. So her doctors never gave her a lot of hope at all. So for her she really changed her lifestyle and everything. She is on so many supplements and herbal medications and she had to do all that research on her own or through naturopaths or whatever, just because for her she feels like there's not a lot of hope for what she has. So she's doing everything that she can to keep her body alkaline and low inflammation and just healthy. She doesn't eat any refined sugar. She doesn't drink, or maybe the odd time we we all have the odd drink time, but not like, but not in a normal thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, have a look into it. So I've done Reiki before from.
Speaker 1:I've had Reiki done to me and it cleared out a lot of stuck energy if you will, and so I went and I like did my Reiki certification, like for one and two or something. There's like three levels, and so the reason that I bring it up is because I'm literally like reading a book called the Foundation of Reiki and I'm in that part where it says the things that it could help with, and so you never know what kind of energy is stuck in her body that may just need to be cleared.
Speaker 3:Well, one thing that we've really learned in this journey is that trauma, whether resolved or unresolved, it's, it finds a spot in your body and it becomes a physiological part of your body. It's not just trauma is mental, and then it's gone when you're not thinking about it anymore. No, it finds itself in there. And so when I said before I was just blessed, I'm not a genetic cancer or not a hormonal cancer, it's like I I'm going to guess that it was probably a lot of repressed trauma.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I just which was mine oh, I feel you, that was mine was the sexual assault at 16. I stayed quiet for three years and, since I could remember, I remember not being able to go for like a full body massage. When I did, I would say just don't touch my lower back, like my lower back to like my middle of my glute, don't touch because it hurts to the touch. And so I always like dealt with back pain and I didn't know what I was getting. My friend, she was one of my clients.
Speaker 1:I used to be in the hotel industry and she was one of my clients and she worked for this hotel that was like a spa hotel, right, and so everything was centered around their spa and there was this healing energy massage and I had no idea what it was. And she's like, oh my God, I tried this thing, I'm going to get it for you because I think that you would love it. And I was like okay, so I go in without any like thought of anything. And she, I tell her I'm just like just be careful with my lower back. And so she lays me down and I didn't know like there's like sound bowls and all. It's like very pretty airy and whatever, and I'm based down and I feel her kind of like hovering over my body and then she was like, oh yeah, I feel all of this sexual trauma right here in my right side of my lower back and it was like she hit the nerve or whatever that was holding all of that and I cried for an hour, that whole session. I just I cried and cried and cried and cried and she's like just keep letting it out.
Speaker 1:So later, years later, I come to find out that's Reiki. I had no idea what it was. It was like this hangover. When I got off of the table I was just like like this emotional hangover, yeah.
Speaker 1:And so years later I find out that the energy healing is Reiki. And then this is what it does and I was just like, wow, that's so crazy. And since then I haven't had any issues with my back at all. So the fact that, like, yeah, I wholeheartedly believe in this, and when you're ready to learn, the teacher appears. I had this mentor that said, when your body is in dis ease, it creates disease. And that's exactly what it is like. It's our traumas create this dis ease in our body. So then, yeah, it makes sense, like, I'm finding.
Speaker 3:Well, I was very notorious I still am, but I'm notorious for pushing everything down. I'm tough, I don't want to show emotion, I don't want to show my kids emotion, I don't want to deal with the stuff that I've gone through. So I push it and, even through treatment, push, push, push, push, push. And so now that I'm in the sort of end stages here of everything and I see physio nonstop I even started doing pelvic floor physio and I do chiropractor and massage and acupuncture and I'm finding all of those things together are really finding trauma spots and they're coming out. Because I've been so emotional, like even last night for no reason I started this huge fight with my husband. But why Like I don't? I think because today, right after this, is my very last treatment for cancer and I'm really excited about it. But it's also very emotional and it's just like, instead of dealing with whatever it is that I'm feeling, I'm like let's pick a fight with somebody.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and I think that, as you are more aware of it, I feel like that will allow you to just be more in touch and be like all right, well, let me back it up, honey. So I'm sorry that this expressed itself this way. This is what I'm truly feeling. It doesn't happen like from one moment to the next, but the fact that, little by little, you are allowing those things to be released, it is going to change everything. It's important, it's emotional regulation, right? So what we don't teach our kids like we were talking earlier, what we don't teach our kids, they won't be able to do so, like if we want them to be able to emotionally regulate, we got to show them.
Speaker 1:I'm sad right now and I'm feeling sad. However, I'm sorry that I blew up at you. That wasn't my intention. My intention wasn't that I have teenagers and 20 year olds, so like it's been a huge learning lesson for me because I before I didn't want to show my kids emotion. I went through a divorce and I was like I would get them to bed and then I would go in my shower and cry in there, and that wasn't necessarily the best way, because then they didn't know how to process all the emotions that were happening with them, and it has just been such a journey.
Speaker 3:My goodness, I get that I'm also divorced from my kid's dad. And, yeah, it was very nasty marriage and it was a very nasty divorce and I tried really hard to protect my kids from seeing that they saw the odd thing, but I really did protect it. And so it got to the point where I was just packing it all in. I was holding on to so much and, you know, when my kids were getting a bit older and they were saying things like Mom, you're the reason that you and dad are divorced, or you are this and you're, and I'm just like you're, yeah, you're right, you know, just holding everything in.
Speaker 3:And and then it got to the point like I feel like when I was married before I was a little nuts, like I was young and I guess I don't know hormonal young babies, I was a little crazy. And then when I started dating my now husband, I wanted to be so opposite of that, like I'm just so chill to the point where I am so nonchalant about everything that it's like there needs to be a happy medium where I'm feeling things and I'm expressing things, where I set boundaries for myself and I'm not just letting people walk all over me. So I haven't quite found that yet, but definitely through this journey I'm learning that, yeah, I'm really important to me and I need to take care of that not just physically, but emotionally yes, those are beautiful lessons.
Speaker 1:Actually, I'm just floored by this. So then, how? Really quick, because I obviously want to get to this. How did you then come to the idea of a podcast with Ashley I?
Speaker 3:just randomly put it out there one day, like months and months ago, and she's like, yeah, that'd be cool. And like we're notorious for like yeah's get together and then we never do, or like let's do this, we never do. So finally one day I'm like, do you want to start a podcast? Like just more recently, she's like, I love that idea. I'm like, okay, come over, let's just do it. And so she came over and we borrowed a friend of mine and we're like let's just do it. And so that's how it started.
Speaker 3:And we're like, what are we to talk about? And we get on that camera and it's like because there's so much stuff just packed in there that needs to come out. And our podcast is called two girls with cancer. Not everything is going to be about cancer, it's just more like what we're going through. And for me, I love research, I love science based things, but we've barely even gotten to anything like that on the podcast. Because, like there's so much emotional stuff going on for both of us and it's like so healing to get it out there and to be able to talk about it and to know you're not alone and yeah, just yeah.
Speaker 1:I sort of community love that so much because it isn't necessarily about the cancer part of it. It's just about like those, you two girls that are dealing with this, and what does that entail? In overall, I love that so much and I do think that's very healing. It's very therapeutic to be able to talk about it, especially with somebody that understands.
Speaker 3:I also think it gives perspective to people who knew us but saw the repressed put on a happy face version of us, even our closest people, who saw us on our worst days, who still didn't quite understand, like the impact of what they're going through or like, yeah, when we're being vulnerable on our podcast talking about the mom guilt or whatever.
Speaker 3:I think people didn't know that realize people didn't realize what we're going through and, like I said before, I flew through chemo and so you would never know that I was sick and same with Ashley because she never did chemo radiation she still looks the same. So a lot of people never understood like the severity of stage three and stage four cancers, even stage one cancers, like really like the severity of anything that you're going through. People just didn't really understand because they just saw the same happy version or the same done up version that they always saw.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I agree, I'd never did chemo or anything like that, because mine was kind of like Ashley's, like you. Just it came and then you cut it out, and then it came again and cut it off again, and so it was just like the four times that I got it it was that, and until they were like all right, well, you've had your kids, now let's take everything out, and I was like I don't know if I'm ready for that. I know I'm not sure if that's what I want, but I guess that is what it's going to be and I see it as a blessing now, even though I'm feeling the repercussions of it. Still, I'm still here. So that's, that is a blessing in itself, right?
Speaker 3:Absolutely it is. We've been through harder stuff.
Speaker 1:I know it's so good, so I just want to say like, thank you. Is there anything else that you feel like want anybody to hear, or something that comes to your heart before we wrap up?
Speaker 3:Ash and I say this on every show like you need to advocate for yourself because no one else is going to Like. If your doctor tells you you're too young or it's not this, or you don't need a mammogram, or you don't need a breast exam, just push for it. If you feel a certain way, push for it, because it's better to be safe than sorry. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I absolutely agree, a hundred percent. Thank you so, so, very much. This was amazing, becky. Give my love to Ashley. Hopefully one day we will be able to reconnect and and yeah, I think that this was amazing. Thank you for your vulnerability and for just allowing the space for our listeners to get in a little bit of what you've gone through. So I appreciate it, thank you for having me.
Speaker 3:I loved being able to share with you.
Speaker 1:Excellent. So listeners for you. Thank you so much for joining us today. I hope you got so much out of this. I appreciate the fact that I could keep this going because I've met so many amazing individuals like Becky, and I just feel like I'm sharing these people with you guys and it's just the coolest thing ever. So thank you for listening. I will put their information for their podcasts and everything on the show notes, so I hope you have an amazing rest of your day. Peace out, guys. Love your life.
