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Against All Odds Podcast, The Less than 1% Chance with Maria Aponte
Maria highlights stories of people that have been the "less than 1% chance" and have come out of their situations thriving and seeing life as happening FOR them and not TO them! Inspiring and empowering stories that will show you that against all odds you can make it through anything!
Against All Odds Podcast, The Less than 1% Chance with Maria Aponte
What If Caring For Yourself Is The Most Generous Thing You Do with Karolina Ross
Burnout doesn’t arrive with sirens. It shows up as heavy mornings, wet cheeks you didn’t notice, and a calendar that rewards you for disappearing. With Karolina, a burnout recovery strategist who has overcame two burnouts and spent 20 years supporting vulnerable adults, we unpack why so many high-capacity women slip into overgiving and how to climb out with dignity and ease.
We get honest about the beliefs that keep us stuck: the oxygen mask myth that feels selfish, the wellness industry’s luxury trap, and the perfectionism that promises safety and delivers collapse. Karolina shares a back-to-basics approach that turns self-care into something practical and repeatable. Think five minutes of nervous system reset, a phone-free walk as meditation, a cup of tea that signals “I need space,” and simple boundary scripts that invite help without micromanaging. We explore how asking for support, delegating even when standards differ, and softening our inner voice can lower resentment at home and at work.
The conversation also travels through real-life seasons—serious health scares, caregiving stress, hormone shifts, and changing jobs—and why your self-care toolbox must adapt. What worked last year may fail after a loss or new demands. That’s not weakness; it’s feedback. We discuss building family rituals that strengthen resilience, like “what went well and why,” choice-based mornings, and nightly gratitude. These small anchors create emotional language, reduce conflict, and model a healthier definition of worth for our kids.
If you’re tired of advice that sounds expensive or performative, this episode offers something different: grounded, budget-friendly, evidence-informed habits you can use today. Start by stopping. Listen for one need. Act on it. Repeat. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs permission to rest, and leave a review to help more listeners find tools that actually help.
Find Karolina:
Facebook: Karolina Ross Wellbeing Coach
LinkedIn: Karolina Ross
Work with Karolina: click here
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Welcome back to the Against All Odds, the Less than 1% Chance podcast with your host, Maria Aponte, and we will hear stories of incredible people surviving against all odds. And my hope is that we can all see how life is going to happen to us even when we are the less than 1% chance.
SPEAKER_01:Hey, hey, welcome back to Against All Odds, the Less than 1% Chance podcast with your host, Maria Aponte. I am so excited to have you guys come back for yet another amazing interview. I am going to introduce our guest today. Her name is Carolina. She is a burnout recovery strategist who helps exhausted working mothers reconnect with their intuition and practice guilt-free self-care. Don't we all need that? Drawling from 20 plus years, supporting vulnerable adults and surviving two burnouts herself. She distills complex well-being concepts into practical, accessible strategies. As a self-described magpie in the psychology world, Caroline collects, tests, and simplifies evidence-based techniques, empowering women to prioritize their well-being through holistic, back-to-basics approach to honor their unique needs and values. This is what we all need. So I am so excited to welcome Carolina to Against All Odds. Thank you for joining us today.
SPEAKER_04:Thank you for having me. I'm really excited.
SPEAKER_01:I am so, so excited. So give me a little bit of background. How did you get into this work? What brought you to this? Yeah, thank you.
SPEAKER_04:So, like I said, I have over 20 years experience working with adults disadvantaged groups. And I was mental health specialist for a very long time. So I thought that I have everything under control and I know how to look after myself. I was great at giving advice to other people. Yeah. And then one day I couldn't get up. My body was really, really heavy. I really struggled to get up. I dragged myself. I started the day. I started work. And not long after starting my work, I realized that my cheeks are wet. I was crying, but I was so disconnected with myself that I didn't know that I was crying. So that was a moment when I thought, right, okay, I don't think I can serve anyone in that state today. I need to do something. So I got my doctor, I was signed off with stress and burnout, and yeah, that was a shock. Because A, I was a mental health practitioner, so I should know better. And B well I was almost proud of wearing this exhaustion like a badge of honor because that's what I was taught. You have to be there for other people all the time. Yeah. So to cut a long story short, I was signed off and I started recovering. However, my perfectionism kicked in and I wanted to recover quick and easy. But that backfired because the more I was doing, the worse I felt. So that was a moment when I decided to go back to basics. And when I say basics, like really basics, I started treating myself almost like my daughter, five-year-old daughter at that time. I had to learn how to be compassionate towards myself, like I was towards other people. And I had to reconnect with myself. And that's how it started. The moment I healed, the moment I recovered from my burnout, I I understood that this is not the path I want to follow. And I want to share it with other moms, with other women, because I feel like we are all in the same basket. We are there for everyone else. We completely dismiss our own needs, and something bad needs to happen for us to realize that oh, I cannot carry on like that anymore.
SPEAKER_01:Oh my gosh, you're literally preaching to the choir right now. I feel that so much to the core. I feel like as women, we're so nurturing, whether we're mothers or not. It's like we take care of all the things. Um and I feel that when I was about 10 years ago, I was single mom of three kids. My oldest at the time was 11 or 12, and she had just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It was very difficult with her mental health and then also taking care of two younger kids. And then I found out I had cancer. And so it was that moment after going through a bit of the depression of like when you find out and all of that, right? I started to shift my thinking, and it had to be okay, Marina, I have to put my oxygen mask on first. I have to like, I have to take care of myself. If not, I will not be here for these kids. And it became okay, so then I need to start getting healthy. I started working out every day and eating right and taking care of myself from the inside out, listening to more personal development books and really getting into the space of self-improvement. And that started to shift everything. And I started to understand I've been through a lot of life-threatening, life-altering situations in my life. And so I've been to that point of that shift that we have to like, oh, oh yeah, yeah, we have to love life and cherish every moment and be present and all the things. But then after a while, you kind of like let that go and revert back. And so it's a constant, oh yeah, oxygen mask on first. Oh yeah, I have to take care of me before I take care of these because you do burn out. And I had a coach once that would say, when there's dis- ease in the body, you create disease. And I literally feel like that's what happened. I there was so much dis-ease in my body that cancer came knocking on my door again. And so yeah, I can understand that moment of oh, yeah, I need to take it back to learning how to take care of myself again.
SPEAKER_04:Gosh, thank you. That that's there is a saying, if you don't make time for wellness, you will need to make time for illness.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, yeah. I and that's how that's what I see a lot among women, especially among mums. Yes. Because we don't use the oxygen masks.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I love to travel, and that probably is something that stuck with me because of that. Every time you're on a plane and they tell you if the oxygen mask comes down, put it on you first before taking care of those others. And it's such a metaphor for life that again, if I didn't take the steps that I needed to take care of myself when I was dealing with my my health, then I probably I don't know if I would have been here. And it and that makes it really, really eye-opening and powerful when you look back and say, oh my gosh, yeah, I definitely was not doing any of that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:But when you think about the oxygen masks, up until my burnout, whenever I was hearing oxygen mask first for you and then your child, I was like, How dare you saying that? My child is the most important creature on this planet. She needs oxygen mask first, not me. But it's just so so difficult, especially because we are raised in this concept that looking after yourself is a luxurious treat. You have to deserve it. Selfish. It's selfish, you have to prove yourself, you need to work for it, and then you are praised with a power voucher or a massage or nails or whatever. So we totally dismiss the all the little things we do every day, which is the self-care. Yeah. But yeah, it's like the other day I was talking to somebody who's doing really big projects, they're really busy, and I asked, Do you look after yourself during this project? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, what do you do for yourself? Oh she wasn't able to answer this question. So she changed the subject, and then she was like, Well, what keeps me going is the thought that in three months' time the project will end and I will have some space to breathe. I'm thinking, how are you going to survive till the project ends? It's three months, it's a very long time. That's what we do as well. Until Christmas, until annual leave. There was a time in my life when I was taking annual leave and I was cleaning instead of using annual leave to recharge my batteries because it's long.
SPEAKER_01:Because we keep putting it off, and then in three months, something new comes along, and you're like, oh wait, just wait because this is happening now. To me, it ended up being a daily decision that I had to make to wake up early and before the house was awake, get my workout in, prepare my meals for the day. I would meditate every morning at least five, ten minutes so that I was in a better place, so that then when I woke up my daughter, which her the mornings were always the toughest for us, yeah, it was not charged with anxiety.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, because when you woke up, you prepared yourself instead of going into fight or flight mode, which happens very often. We wake up and we're already in fight or flight mode, thinking of this is my to-do list, and I have to do this and that. You reset your nervous system and you were ready to start the day from really good place mentally, which is so important, and that paid off with the relationship with your daughter in the morning. Otherwise, the two of you would wind each other up, and you would be fighting and arguing, and the the whole day would be a disaster, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Which happened often, and prior to me taking those steps, there was times where we used to live in an apartment and she would start throwing things, and the neighbor called the police, and they're like, something's happening. And so it was a very anxiety-driven charge in the morning that it like oh, it was so stressful for the rest of the day. And so we let all of that instead of taking in a moment, and it really didn't take much for me to be able to reset myself. And then I started becoming a little more strategic because I knew that she had to wake up at seven in the morning for school. I would go into her room like at 7:15 and say, good morning, in a very good mood. And I would say, Do you want to wake up now or do you want another 15 minutes? And it gave her a choice, even though I just I just turned back the clock a little bit so that she would feel like she had some semblance of control, even though she needed to wake up at seven, anyways.
SPEAKER_04:But that changes a lot, yeah, doesn't it? Yeah, it's so simple, and you what I try to teach my clients is you really don't need anything complicated in your life. Yeah, I'm very much about making your life as easy and simple as possible. So when I talk about self-care, I'm not talking about another to-do or another task for your to-do list. I'm talking about you being a good place no matter what's happening in your life. Because, like you said, five minutes is enough. But when you do the five minutes during the day consciously, it adds up, and by the end of the day, you're not as tired as you were, and you're more eager to spend more time with your family. You're not as resentful towards your husband or partner or whoever is in your life, thinking everything is on my head, they're not helping me, why aren't they helping me? Well, have you asked? Yeah, that's another big thing. We don't ask for help.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, no, I don't do it. No matter where we are, women are women, and we have this innate way of being because yeah, you what do you mean you can't hear what's in here? I told you in here, yeah, absolutely, and you know what?
SPEAKER_04:I specified that in my head, I specified that. So, why didn't you do it the way I wanted it to be? It's not up to my standards, so you know what? Next time I'm going to do it myself because it's quicker and easier, and it's adding to our to-do list, exactly. It's just a vicious circle. The other day I had a conversation with somebody, and I said, we do it to ourselves, we honestly do it to ourselves, and she's like, What do you mean? I'm like, have you ever talked to your family and shared your responsibilities? Well, I told him to do it. Like, there is a difference between telling somebody to do it and sharing or giving somebody a choice to do something. So what I often do with my clients is I encourage them to write down everything what they do, the responsibilities, and then create another list of what they are prepared to let go and delegate to other people. This is a massive thing. A lot of clients cannot let go of things because they're not going to do it up to my standards.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:But the thing is, it may not be your standards, but they will do it. And another thing is, how do you know that your standards are the best ones? Yes. You don't know. Absolutely. You've never given the chance to your husband or your children to actually show their initiative and they standards. And you would be surprised. My husband is better in a lot of things that he does in the house.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. So why do we often ignore like the simple budget-friendly self-care tricks and give me some of those that you often recommend?
SPEAKER_04:So I think the big problem is with wellness industry. The wellness industry sells luxurious uh approach, luxurious activities. Even if you think about a candle, a standard candle, you have a choice between five pound or five dollars candle and fifty dollars candle. Which one you would go for? The fifty one because it's expensive, so it must be it must be better, it must be really good. Yes, but if you think about it, the only job of the candle is to burn and smell, and both of them will be doing the same job, yes, but in your head is I need to buy the more expensive one because that's how it works. Whatever is cheap is not good quality, yeah, yeah, it's the same with gear when we think about going to joining the gym. Oh my gosh, you cannot join the gym in simple leggings and t-shirt. You have to buy we need a whole outfit, yeah. I understand that. Unfortunately, that's I can understand people want to have a business, they want to make money. But we caught ourselves in this trap, this thinking trap, that if something is cheap, there is no value in it. So when we talk about self-care and simplicity of self-care and going back to basics, when I say to my clients, having lunch away from the computer or not screening your phone before going to bed, it sounds like a ridiculous idea. Yeah, it's too simple to work. Yeah, does it make sense?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, absolutely. I see that in so many of us, it could be as simple as taking like a minute to do deep breaths, whatever that could change, and we're like that's not it's too easy.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, it's like with meditation. There was a poem when meditation was very fancy word, mindfulness was very fancy word, and a lot of people think that it's a woo woo. When I started thinking about meditation, in my head I had this lotus uh position, yes, arming. Yeah, I tried that, yeah, it didn't work for me. I got really peed off because my mind was going like crazy. I felt stupid, and then I thought, okay, okay. There is a thing, science behind that that it works. I just need to find my way, how it's going to work. Yes. And for me, these days meditation means me going on a walk. Yeah. And being in the nature and just looking around. This is mindfulness because all my senses are exposed. And this is the time where I don't take my phone with me, I don't listen to any podcast or anything. No music, nothing, just the birds chirping. Yeah. That's mindfulness, that's meditation. Yeah. Doesn't cost me anything, but the impact is massive. Yeah. If I don't go for a walk in the morning before I start my day, I feel unsettled. There's something missing. Having a cup of tea for five minutes, just sit in a garden or in a quiet place where you feel really relaxed and happy in your home. And look at the photos in in your photo album, not your phone. Yes. It makes such a difference. Because then when you look at your photos in your album, your brain is focused on what's here and now. And all the positive hormones are waking up because you're coming back to those moments when the photos were taken, and you start thinking how wonderful time it was, and you feel uplifted. Yeah. You feel calmer, you feel happier. And it was just five minutes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it definitely does make such a difference. And it's something that we often miss. What other hidden gems would we be missing? And is luxury the only way to feel good? Because I think we touched on that, but I think that's where a lot of the times, like you said, it has to be either it could be an outfit to go to the gym rather than just a t-shirt and pants. So I feel like we overcomplicate it, but I feel like we overcomplicate it so that it makes it hard and then we stop.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:That's how it works. The I recently worked with a client and she discovered that she's a people pleaser. She wanted to change it. However, her words, this is going to be hard work. Changing this will be hard work. So I turned the question and I asked her Isn't people pleasing hard work? Because you're constantly on your toes trying to think ahead how you can please other people at work, at home. Yeah. And you totally dismiss your own needs. So when she started thinking about it, she was like, hmm, it is hard work. I don't like it. It is hard work. Yeah. And this little mind shift allowed her to look at her behavior from a totally different angle. And she's happy now. Yeah. And she's not people pleasing. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:We have to learn how to use or learn how to choose our hard. We could either hard work and do what will serve us best or hard work and do what will serve others best. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Well, I don't I personally don't like the phrase hard work because automatically your brain is thinking, I don't want to do it because it sounds difficult.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So yeah, but that's that that's me. But mind shift is really important when you think about self-care. Yeah, I agree. When you start understanding that self-care is something more than just study or going to the gym.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:That it's you setting boundaries, that it's you practicing self-compassion, that it's you using kind language towards yourself, and that it's you sitting with your emotions. Yeah, which is it's probably it's it that's uncomfortable. That's very uncomfortable. Yes. But it's also self-care. Yeah. Because self-care is healthy habits and behaviors that can help you keep holistic well-being. Yeah. It's not one thing. And you forget about the rest. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_01:Look into in a holistic way. Yeah, it has to be different things that that that maybe touch different parts of your life because you're not one-dimensional and not one thing will not help everything. It definitely has to be something collective. When does striving to be your best self can maybe cross the line between I want to be my best self and then also being your harshest critic?
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one. I'm sure you're familiar with the word perfectionist. Oh yeah. I hear that all the time.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, I'm a perfectionist.
SPEAKER_04:So this is your enemy number one. Yeah. And this is, I've already mentioned your inner dialogue is also very important. So when I was recovering from my burnout, perfectionism and inner critic were the loudest because, like I said, I wanted to heal as soon as possible and to the best I could. Yeah. And because of that, I was putting so much pressure on myself that I wasn't able to heal.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Until I understood that me telling myself all the time, I should, I should, I should, I should, I should, I should do this, I should feel that. And constantly asking myself what am I doing wrong wasn't helpful. I completely dismissed self-compassion and self-kindness in that healing. And that backfired because instead of feeling better, I felt worse. So the moment I sat down with myself, the moment I allowed myself to actually let go of the pressure of shoes. To actually let go, you know what? My meditation doesn't have to be perfect. I don't have to sit in a loaded position and um exactly.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely. I agree. I heard once that perfection is the lowest standard you can have for yourself. Because it's unachievable.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And that that definitely stuck with me. And I had a friend of mine that always says, stop shouldding all over yourself because the shoulds are not gonna get you anywhere. And yeah, so that was that I felt all of that you said to my core workers. I agree so much. So is self-care always supposed to feel good, or is it more than just pleasure and pampering?
SPEAKER_04:Well, we've already discovered that it's not going to be always pleasure. Because if you think about it, this is your inner work, and that's uncomfortable. It's difficult. Sometimes self care requires you working with a psychologist or a counselor where you unpack your past or your unpack your emotions. Sometimes this is the first time when you actually learn how to name your emotions. Yeah. We don't have the language to use to to to name our emotions. We don't know. We know it's sad, happy.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah the basic emotions.
SPEAKER_04:But what about the rat? What about the rat? Yeah, it's uncomfortable. And when you start setting boundaries and you start saying no, this is out of your comfort zone, so it's uncomfortable. When you start saying yes to things which you would never say yes to before this is you being outside of your comfort zone. This is uncomfortable. But when you cross that line and you're on the other side you can see how powerful it is and how much joy you have now because of that discomfort.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. That is very true. I feel even with this most recent shift I had to come to very uncomfortable realizations that you know when what I was already doing was not working anymore I had to take away the judgment out of other ways of doing things and step into that uncomfortable and say okay well maybe this wasn't working and I need something else and I need help in with something else. And and it became very frustrating when I was 10 years ago when I started my health journey I was 32 years old and I was I was overweight and again a lot of stress I was traveling a lot single mom of three kids my daughter with her mental health illness like all of the things that were happening and I started to work out eat right supplements like all of the good things that worked and I ended up losing about 40 pounds and I was like okay great now I can maintain it I had a full hysterectomy and so I went at 33 years old I went into full menopause and that I like it shifted some things. Obviously there's no like regular estrogen flowing anymore or anything like that. However I because I had already started this lifestyle it helped maintain for a very long time and I was the fittest I was in in like my mid-30s and then my dad got sick when I was about 38 years old in about in 2020 and when I then became his caretaker and my mom was there but she worked and so I took him to all of his doctor's appointments and all of his things and his treatment and everything my stress level went right up there. And there was slowly but surely the balance that I had in my hormones that still allowed me to maintain my weight went chaotic. And so then I started gaining weight and I'm like but I'm doing everything that I've done and that was the moment about a year ago I a year and a half ago I started working in an office job where I wasn't at home anymore. I didn't have the flexibility that I had before and so it then became my life became more sedentary and I still would work out I still would eat right but it wasn't the same and my after my dad passed away like everything started to calm in terms of the cortisol but I was already struggling. And I then had to give myself like other options and I had to finally get on hormone replacement therapy which I was super uncomfortable with at the beginning or not at the beginning of last year but when I first had the hysterectomy because there was so much misinformation out there and so much fear of well if I do that then I'll maybe get cancer elsewhere. So many things that were unfounded but were out there. And so I ended up starting hormone replacement therapy and so that was one step but then I still were wasn't seeing results that I wanted to see. So I was like all right let me talk to a doctor and I started another step with I started GLP ones and I'm starting to see a difference again and I'm like oh okay maybe I just needed to get out of my head this only way of doing something and I added something else to my tool belt and so I have this like array of tools in my tool belt now of different ways that people could be helped. If you're dealing with one thing that doesn't mean that it's gonna work always.
SPEAKER_04:Absolutely I'm so glad you mentioned that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah so it's it really it has opened my eyes to that because I had not experienced it and I feel like it and maybe I'm so verbal about everything that I go through that I had to take some time to get inside myself and say am I okay with adding additional help that I didn't need before and it's also giving yourself that permission to have those questions.
SPEAKER_04:Absolutely absolutely self reflection yeah self-reflection is part of self-care yeah the more you are aware what's happening to you the more you can support yourself and you can help yourself and you can find support out there like you did with your medication for example what's really important is when you think about self-care it's really important to understand that it's not a set thing there's loads of things which is important to take on board. Your situation can change in a minute like with that for example you may just change a job and that will be one thing that is enough for your up until now self-care toolbox that is not going to work. What worked for you in the morning may not work for you in the evening because you are in different environment you are in different mindset your body is in different relationship with you because it's more tense for example so it's so so important to bear that in your mind. The other day I was asked about what is my strategy how my typical day look like regarding self-care and my first response was like I don't know that's because my toolbox is packed my toolbox is really really big and what I've learned is I really follow my intuition I really ask myself this question what do I need here and now and depending on what I need I follow that sometimes is cup of tea the whole through the whole day and sometimes is loads of other things but yeah I found myself I'm like okay I preach self-care and I cannot answer this question.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah you have a lot of options it depends on the day that I'm looking at that's the thing it made me realize that yes it really depends where I am who I'm talking to what's happening in my life yeah self-care is a massive it's like an umbrella yeah or a treasure box full of things which you can pick up and the thing is when you learn to do it when you befriend yourself you will do it without thinking yeah absolutely and it becomes like you said you your intuition just kicks in and you're like I think I need this today. Today I didn't do a weighted workout I danced instead and it was 30 minutes and I had fun and I sweat and I was like oh this feels good and tomorrow I may need to pick up some weights it's it's listening to your body and what you need in the moment. Yeah I definitely agree. So when you're exhausted how do you because I feel like we are worse critic how do you begin to answer the question like how can I just be kind to myself today? No this is digital this is I came up with this simple method when I was in my healing journey stop listen stop really stop sit down or lie on the floor or yeah just make sure that your body can do something hard so this is your grounding point listen means ask yourself the question what do I need here and now and then act act on it if your answer was I'm hungry I need to eat something go and eat if your answer was I'm tired I need five minutes for myself go and do it even if you're at work you can do it even if you're in the office you can do it because no one can see what's in your head absolutely honestly people no one can hear or see what's happening in your head so there's no chance that you will be discovered yeah so in your journey what limiting beliefs or roadblocks did you have to overcome maybe to get you to where you are right now the biggest one was understanding that my value is not through my actions because I was brought up in a culture where the more you do for others the more valued you are the better mom, wife daughter and so on you are I feel that and I think this is a massive thing in Catholic religion as well.
SPEAKER_04:I was raised as a Catholic me too so you know you need to sacrifice yourself for others that's how you become saint yeah in another world I don't want to be saint in another world if I'm going to suffer here. Exactly that was my turning point started I'm not doing it any longer yes absolutely oh my gosh yeah I definitely I could definitely relate to that I feel like I've just evolved with even my spirituality um from that and I and yeah it's so much more about the kindness that we can show ourselves the kindness that we show others and to be just good human beings like I think that should be our North Star should be I just want to be a kind good human being that cares for others including myself including myself yes including myself because I think the the star was always there I want to be kind and helpful and supportive to others but I was completely dismissing myself yes and there is this saying in the Catholic religion love your neighbor as yourself as you do yeah as you do yourself yeah well the first part yes the second part yeah not really up until I realized that okay oxygen mask first for me then the rest of the world yeah absolutely I love that I think that was the biggest belief I had to overcome because yeah it was massive so what daily habits or rituals do you have that helped you reach the level of success where you are right now in your journey the other person asked me I do a lot of things I honestly do a lot of things everything depends on how I am and where I am but there are a few things which I do which is I love reading and I read every day. I'm an introvert and the social media can I really have no interest in that so I don't call my phone my phone is there but even my husband has problems with ringing me. My phone is somewhere there somehow I unattached I am to my phone I like creative things so I crochet or I knit to oh that's amazing this is the season this is the season for that season for that in summertime I do gardening so I journal and with journaling I was finding it really really difficult because all the journaling prompts were peeling me off to be honest like think about something and then it's all I'm like oh my gosh give me a break so what I came up again simplifying my life I just open the notebook and I write whatever is on my mind I call it dumping ground I love it I do it in the morning because that works for me. This is my dumping ground and then I can continue with the day. Yeah and I also have this small tradition with my daughter that in the evening we catch up together. Like we have our me time in her room and we talk about her day and we have this gratitude moment again. When I was recovering and I heard what are you grateful for I'm like flipping heck how am I going to answer this question where everything is crap bleak and I'm grateful for nothing to be honest. So anyway I came up with this simple question what went well and why simplified for my daughter at that time because she was young what's the highlight of your day yes and this is something we've been doing for ages now and we still do it.
SPEAKER_01:That's awesome yeah I did that with my kids too and I would have them in the mornings before dropping them off at school I we called it the wonderfuls um so I would have them repeat four times something wonderful will happen to me today so that they start with that conviction they would tell me three things that they were grateful for and three I am statements. And so I am kind I'm I get a great whatever right and they were little and then when they would come home I would say how was your day it was good what was so good about it and what was a tough moment today so that they would be able to decipher this was probably not such a great moment but I had this moment and so that they could see that comparison um and I feel like it became this ritual and we talk we would talk and that meant that I had good communication with them and one of the when we are growing up we see the things that our parents do and I had amazing parents however being from a very Hispanic Catholic family we don't talk about these feelings and we don't talk about different we keep quiet on on different things that are not pleasant to talk about and practice uncomfortable with the floor. It's exactly all swept under the the rug and so I wanted that to be one of the things that was completely opposite about how I parented and so that that little ritual brought out conversations with my children that I didn't I wouldn't have had with my parents ever and I could they can tell me about anything and I am there to listen and maybe help them navigate through some of those emotions or feelings or situations but it just became a really nice ritual so that we can open conversation because I didn't have that growing up.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah I think it's really important. It's similar it was very similar with me and my daughter is 15 now and what I can see is actually when I was recovering from my burnout I wanted to make sure that my daughter is not following my steps. It was very important for me to make sure that my daughter is not going to experience burnout in her adult life. And I can see now that this is paying off already because like I say she's 18 and for her self-care is normal is natural. She doesn't feel guilty about it. Yeah awkward about it and you ask me about my habits I keep forgetting about my the precious more important habit which is my beloved cup of tea honestly this is so ingrained in my life now that I honestly forget about it. But when I say at home when I say time for kappa or I need a cup of tea this is a signal for my family that I need me time I need quiet time leave me alone.
SPEAKER_01:I love that so much and it works that's amazing I have my cup of tea sometimes it's five minutes sometimes it's ten minutes and then I'm ready to face the world that's awesome I love that so much oh my gosh well this has been amazing I'm so excited I'll put on the show notes how people can connect with you but this has been so awesome I loved our conversation and I'm I'm really excited because I know that so many people right now are experiencing with so much happening in the world I feel like we're easily over stimulated that burnout is so right there and it's under the surface. So I'm I really appreciate you having this conversation with me.
SPEAKER_04:No and me too thank you and thank you for sharing your story this is powerful yeah this is really powerful and yeah it's really good to hear that you are in a good place now and your children are in a great place from what I can hear and you simplified your life as well yeah yeah I think that's why I felt so connected I was like yes absolutely I agree with all those things and we are living proof that it's possible and you can still enjoy your life and you can still work and be there for others. Yeah absolutely I love it sacrificing yourself I love it so much.
SPEAKER_01:Well Carolina thank you so much for joining us today listeners I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did and again I will put all of her information in the show notes so pay attention to that thanks so much for listening peace out guys love your life bye
