When Gratitude Meets Grief: Mike Dyson's Heart Surgery Blindside

Your body can do everything "right" and still betray your expectations. That's what makes Mike Dyson's story so gripping: he's a fitness business owner who trains consistently, watches his nutrition, tracks his labs, and still ends up blindsided by severe coronary artery disease and a life-saving open heart bypass surgery after doctors initially brush off his symptoms as "must be your exercise." We talk through the moment the angiogram changes everything, the shock of hearing "open heart surgery," and the strange whiplash of bouncing back physically while falling apart internally months later. Mike gets honest about identity, fear, and the shadowy thought patterns that show up after trauma, including the pressure of wondering why grief can feel so heavy when you're also deeply grateful to be alive. We also dig into practical, usable tools: advocating for your body, staying anchored when triggers flare back up, and giving yourself grace without sliding into avoidance. Mike shares "memory stones," gratitude, worship, and why he chose a grief counselor when he realized he was over his head. Maria connects it to her own against-all-odds cancer journey and the foundations that get built one hard season at a time. If you've faced a crisis you never saw coming, hit play, then subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more listeners can find hope and real steps forward.

Connect with Mike:
Facebook: Mike Dyson Author

Facebook (personal): Mike Dyson

Instagram: @newlifeo1

Website: mikedysonauthor.com

Book: The Shadow

Transcript

Welcome And Mike’s Against Odds

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome back to the Against All Odd, the Less than 1% Chance podcast. We'll hear host Marina Ponte, where we will hear stories of incredible people who living against them odds. And my hope is that we can also see how life is always happening for us, even when we are the less than 1% chance.

SPEAKER_01 0:18

Hey, hey, welcome back to Against All Odds, the Less than 1% Chance podcast with your host, Maria Aponte. I am so excited for you to be back. And I'm so excited to introduce to you our guest today. So I'll quickly introduce him and then we can get into his story because it is pretty incredible. So Mike Dyson is an entrepreneur, fitness business owner, Christian author, and speaker. After spending decades pursuing health and helping others do the same, he was diagnosed with a severe coronary artery disease and underwent open heart bypass surgery in 2023. The experience forced him to confront his own mortality and walk through a season of fear, grief, uncertainty, and ultimately deeper gratitude and faith. Today he shares his lessons learned through that journey, encouraging others to find hope, purpose, and God's presence in life's darkest valleys. His book, The Shadow, was born from that experience. Thank you so much for joining us today, Mike. Tell us a little bit about you and your against all odds story.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Thanks for having me. First off, I really appreciate it. I live in Pensacola, Florida, married for 31 years now. I have four kids, 11 grandkids. Hard to believe. That's just had identical girl twins. So that's really was a shock for everyone. So it's really good. They're up to just a few weeks old, which is awesome. You know, the against all odds, I've had a lot of things in my life, a lot of trauma in my background. My mom took me across state lines to have me aborted. Uh, had an orcholepsy the first 12 years. So I pretty I don't want to say I'm experienced with trauma. That's probably not a good thing to say, but I've just been through trauma in my life. It's just the way that it is. And anybody who's been through those things, you know, it's hard to process it, hard to understand it. But in 93, I rededicated my life to the Lord on a couch here in Pensacola, Florida. Inside, my life was a mess. Career-wise, I was fine, but inside was just a mess. And that surrender, what I heard that day was to stop blaming. I had to stop blaming in my life. So it really set me on a course of personal responsibility, accountability, no longer finger out, but finger in, you know, all those things, right? So I really think that was where the transformation in my life internally began. And when you fast forward, I became really dedicated to my health. I'm in the fitness industry. There's a whole testimony to that as well of what God and how he called us into that. So I pursue my health. So it's getting to the point anymore. I'm going to digress just for a second, but I hear a lot of people talk about exercise. And anymore, I almost have to quantify that because I think sometimes people think slow walking around the block, and I'm not trying to make that a negative.

SPEAKER_03 3:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

But it doesn't get your heart rate elevated, right? So there's a lot of lack of understanding. But for me, I'm pretty well in the gym five days a week. I do, I really am intentional about what I do, monitoring heart rate, all those things. And I've been doing that for a long time. And also intentional about my nutrition, which that's been a good solid 10 years, and got my blood work done twice a year just to make sure my nutrient levels and things like that were accurate. We saw that your blood is hidden. And instead of ignoring it and allowing maybe the enemy to get somewhere in your battle that you may not know you have, we wanted to expose that so we could combat it just in case something was there. So I said all that to preface it was a total blind side

Fitness Discipline Then Strange Symptoms

SPEAKER_02 3:49

for me. In September of 23, I had some, I had a I woke up in the morning and felt like I was drunk. I was going to play tennis that morning. Really strange. I thought this is weird, but I went to tennis anyway. Sometimes when you exercise, you if you don't feel right, go burn it off, so to speak. And I was okay afterwards. A week later, similar. Went to urgent care, failed two EKGs. They admitted me, wanted to send me in an ambulance. I thought this is a really I feel fine.

SPEAKER_03 4:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

Um, in all for all intents and purposes. They admitted me, did lots of tests, patted me and said it must be your exercise, sent me on my way. Third week, same thing happened again. This time I was with someone, I couldn't process the information. I'm pretty good with data. I had to tell them, stop, it's overwhelming me. Please stop. I later went to the hospital again. Each time they would find troponin in my blood, which is a heart enzyme that appears whenever your heart is under undue stress. People have heart attacks, their numbers are really elevated. So they admitted me again, did all sorts of tests, nuclear stress, everything. And people would just make comments like, I your heart is lit up. It's just unbelievable, all positive, like over almost over the top to the point of how healthy I was, or something, right? So again, they just said must be your exercise. And I knew something was wrong. So I think anything, one thing I would say is if you know your body, you know your body.

SPEAKER_01 5:11

Yeah, you have to be your biggest advocate.

SPEAKER_02 5:13

You do. I'm telling you today, and exercise almost became a hindrance for me because people would, because they knew how what level I exercised, they became dismissive. I'm not going to say intentionally, but it's just the way that it was. So finally in November, they thought I had indigestion. In November, they did an angiogram.

Severe Blockage And Surgery Decision

SPEAKER_02 5:32

And when they did that, it was about the first or second week in November before Thanksgiving, they found severe stenosis. And I didn't even know what that was. But when I when I Googled it, it was a that wasn't a good thing, right? So it means I had a lot of blockage or something going on. So they scheduled me for a heart cath, and I don't even remember my wife had to tell me, but they were planning on stinting me. That's what their plan was. If there was a blockage, when they went in there, they found 80% blockage in my widowmaker and 99% blockage in a large branch off of my widowmaker. And because the way they were, they're like branched, they could not stint me because they I would have coded on the table. So fortunately, I had a cardiologist that wasn't too, it wasn't arrogant in the point that, like, hey, let's try this anyway. And he pulled out and they came into my recovery room. I can still remember that day, and said, open heart surgery. So I go from this person who has, I understand, even if you do all the right things, that doesn't prohibit things from happening. My journey can tell a lot of stories behind that, but it was a shock. It was a total shock. I had a few little my cholesterol, I was like 219, 200 is norm. So even the little bits that I had and saw a health doctor, no one thought anything. But September of 23, a surgeon moved the very month I had an issue from Fort Myers, Florida, to Pensacola and brought a minimal invasive procedure with him. And because I was healthy, they usually only do a single bypass, but he felt confident he could do a double. So instead of doing normal sternectomy through the center of the chest, he did it through the side. And six and a half hours later, December 28th, the day before my 63rd birthday, I was laying on a table. Yeah, they did that bypass. So it's still an emotional thing for me. It was a really tough time to go through. Physically, I responded really fast. I was on a tennis court in eight weeks. So I think that gave me a lot of assurance that everything is okay. You know what I mean? I was no different than after the surgery than before, like physically. I felt basically the same, obviously a little sore, numb, different things like that.

Fast Recovery Then Hidden Grief

SPEAKER_02 7:47

But about seven months after that, things began to change internally. And I began to realize that I wasn't enjoying the things in life that I was before. I was a sufferer for a long time in my life until the day on that couch. So I've become really in tune with my emotions, how I feel, because you have to be careful, right? Or otherwise you'll just stuff again, right? So I know the importance of not doing that, but somehow I think because I rebounded so fast physically, I probably just kept kind of driving along like normal. And in some ways, it became a blind side of my emotional state. And the next thing you knew, I was really struggling. Now, I cried a lot when I got the announcement of open heart. You can probably tell I still get emotional about it, right? It was really tough. I wasn't sure why it was like that. I was totally grateful. I didn't shake my fist at God and say, why me, why me? I never felt that way. I was grateful that it got exposed. Think about all the opportunities or the things that could have happened to me along the way while I was exercising. It's just any time in my life, right? So very grateful, but I was grieved. I was grieved to my core. And I I've done a lot of work with people internally. I call it SOSA, internal healing, and even trauma. So I kind of know the tools of that uh along with the Holy Spirit, but those tools weren't really working for me. Yeah, I had to get a I had to get a grief counselor and start processing through that. So I know that was a long answer, but I think that it that was a transition point for me to in an area where I had to learn how to come out of something. So even greater than what I've been through in the past.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

Yeah, no, I totally and I think that I similarly, when I was told that I needed a full hysterectomy because the can't my cancer had come back the fourth time, and it was that that identity of well, wait, I'm I was 32 years old. And what do you mean that's you're taking away this identity? And even if you had an identity of a healthy, I I'm doing all the right things thought process, and for that to completely shift to something like open heart surgery, it just it shifts that perspective of identity that you're like, no, but this what do you mean? This is not who I am. You're you are not talking about their same person. And it's and it's such a I think it's a struggle, frustrating. It's it's those are though that's understandable. I don't have to have gone through that to understand the fact that I I can understand that grief and that that shift in identity and the confusion behind it. And I I I understand that emotion is so real. What went through your head, right? As you're learning this, that you need an open heart surgery despite living such a healthy lifestyle.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

Again, I cried a lot. I had a lot of people call me, pray for me. I couldn't get through any conversation without just totally breaking down. I it was it was like I'm getting I've never been hit by a truck, but it that's what it felt like. It was just a total blind side. So I think for me, as much as I was on that side, then I have my analytical side, which I was in tune with the surgeon, I was doing a lot of research because I that's how I operate. I like information, I feel like I need to be armed as much as I can, right? And try to understand these things. So it was two sides to all that. Yeah, I can tell you that holiday season for 23 was a much different holiday season than ever in my life. So it was a hard thing to process. I do

Identity Shaken By The Shadow

SPEAKER_02 11:38

want to talk about something when you said about identity, because I had to work really hard on my identity. I moved in this house in 2011. So I've been in this house almost 15 years, and even at that point in time, I was still insecure about myself. Like I wouldn't smile. And if you look at the back of my book, I carry a smile, I smile at people now, but I had to work at that. Like I I had to, I would actually practice in a mirror looking at myself at the windows of my soul. So, why am I saying that? Because I worked hard on my identity and really understanding and believing who God said that I am, and that that took effort, it took some intentionality. I couldn't just wish that into being. I wish I could, but I couldn't, right? But I had to be intentional. But this experience, it really challenged my foundation. It came against everything that was inside of me that God had built along the way, my disciplines, all those things. And there's a truth by there's a song by Megan Woods. I don't know if you've heard it, it's called Truth. And that song really spoke to me because she said, You look, I look in the mirror, and I'm forgetting who I once was. And it was kind of where I was at in those moments. And interestingly enough, she's saying, I look in the mirror, right? Because that's where I really had to begin to practice looking at myself and believing who God said I was. So it really shook me to the core in my identity as well. And it put me on the ledge. I use this term, putting on the ledge, I don't know where it came from, but it wasn't suicidal. So I want to be clear. When I say on the ledge, I'm not talking about jumping off a building, but on the ledge that it pressed me so much in my identity and how I was coping with it. I mean, coping mechanisms that I had not even thought about for years were trying to come into play. So the on the ledge was not moving into areas or thinkings that I knew I didn't belong in, right? That were only going to bring me harm. And my book goes into that about the shadow of death, tries to encapsulate you. And that's what I was experiencing is that shadow trying to squeeze me and maneuver me and really put me in a posture that would not allow me to fight. Um, so it was tough. Tough, tough thing.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

Yeah, I definitely feel like I I definitely understand that moment of feeling the the breath is completely squeezed out of you, and and you have to confront this new level of growth that you don't necessarily understand that it's growth in that moment, but looking back in the rear view mirror of it all, you will see that was just the step that needed to happen for you to elevate to the level of growth that you that has that came from that. And it's it's very powerful because that just shows you the strength and the trust that God has in you to be able to get through that and now serve others in the way that it was intended from the beginning. And I feel like I've learned over many years that life is always happening for us and not to us. And it's the perspective that we look at it, right? So you're not looking at your life as the victim, you're looking at, okay, what I understand this is really, really, really tough right now. And I might not be the happy go lucky person right now that I'm normally am. However, I think I've learned enough to okay, what is coming out of this? And this is when I'm now I think now I'm more conscious about it. And when I'm going through difficult things, I have to sit with myself for a moment and say, okay, what is it that needs to come from this? What do I have to put in? What work do I have to do in order to get to this whatever next level is? Because it this can't just be happening because I don't believe that you get put in these situations just to show you that life sucks. Because it's a perspective you have to understand that maybe this is tough right now, but you're building those blocks so that foundation continues to get thicker and more sturdy. And yeah, it just I can I feel like I can relate to that feeling of like sometimes it's it's not easy to feel all these things and be put in this situation. And yes, we get emotional, and emotions are actually so beautiful and should be celebrated. And not for I come from a Hispanic household, and emotions in the males in our family are in just their culture, are typically not shown. And I love the fact that my dad would get emotional with me and with my siblings and my mom. Like, I'm so grateful that he showed me that men can be emotional and still be manly and have that the I don't know, be okay to be emotional and be a man. It's I think it's super important. It's beautiful that you're able to express those things, even though a lot of the times those are like you said, they kind of get pushed down and you have to kind of learn to get away from that. I love that.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

Yeah, and they can get pressed down. And I think along the way I've learned to not press them down so you can identify them, right? So for me, disappointment I've realized along the way is one of those things that can begin to trigger my mind to go places that it shouldn't. So if my mind starts going places that it doesn't normally go, which obviously we have an enemy to our soul as well, right? So these fiery darts, whatever you however you want to call it, but it's in thinking, then I can almost do a lot of times realize and say, go back and really go before God. Did what's going on? Did I get disappointed somewhere that I didn't realize, right? Because that's kind of one of my things. So I think part of it is really for people to try to really lay open and try to understand what it is that what is it that they're feeling and why are they feeling? Anger is only a warning on a dashboard, right? Of your car. I mean, it's like a warning sign on your car, but that's not the root, right? So I think that was a big thing for me coming through this is I understand roots. And many people deal with the issues in their life by using a weed or right, they just kind of to take off the top surface, but then the next thing you know, the thing's popping back up and they wonder why, right? So they never get to the root aspect, and that's part of in our training where we took people, obviously the Holy Spirit, of helping identify those so they can get exposed to the light, right? Because the truth will set you free, and then healing can come in that, right? So for me, though, what was weird is there's no root, it's only a trauma, right? So it's not like I'd had unforgiveness or bitterness or any of those things that were going on, and I think it was a way where it was a real struggle was is that I began to think, and it was this was a shadow that I was facing, is that I shouldn't feel this way. I'm so grateful, right? Which I totally was. Like, I mean, I'm so grateful that God allowed that to be exposed. Now, I don't believe God sent that to me, right? I do believe that obviously our bodies are decaying, there's just a lot of variables to all that. I'm not gonna can't even get into that. God is still sovereign, but he saved me. So I was totally grateful. So, in gratitude, how could I feel like I'm in such a dark spot? That was a very baffling. So then I started to begin to believe the shadow of my mind to begin to think something's wrong with me. Something has to be there. Because this goes back to what I've taught gone, helped other people with, right? And in my own life. But the thing is, I had to learn, and there wasn't, there wasn't anything there. There wasn't a root of something, it was just an occurrence that happened that produced something inside of me. I had to learn, and this was I did not get this right away. I kept trying to find almost like with a shovel in a field, where's it at? Where's it at? Where's it at? And I finally had to learn to surrender to the grief so I could walk in the victory out of it. Yeah, and that was something I had surrendered along my way, all the way. I didn't get this point to this point without surrendering. But it was weird to surrender to that type of an emotion because I had never experienced that before. Typically, the emotion shows you something's wrong, then you get healing in what's wrong, and then the emotion dissipates, which is correct, right? Like it's but in this case, that wasn't the that wasn't the thing, so it was a battle of almost not feeling godly or not handling it right, like it could almost be a lot of self-condemnation in the midst of that, and that was making it worse instead of better. So that resignation or surrender was very important.

Holding Gratitude While Feeling Grief

SPEAKER_01 20:30

Yeah, so speaking on that, carrying gratitude in one hand and grief in the other, what does that mean to you and how has that shaped your journey in it all?

SPEAKER_02 20:44

Something this did to me, and you mentioned about how you look in the rearview mirror and you can see things, and sometimes you do, and sometimes you don't, but I think and probably in the bigger things, you hopefully you've gleaned something from it. This showed me, I read the scripture that talks about we're just a vapor. I understand that I'm gonna die. I don't think a lot about my eternal heaven, only because I feel I have great purpose here, right? So I don't get so focused on what's yet to come. But I think that I realized my frailty as a human. How I could have before that time, I would have said, Well, of course I'm frail, and of course I need the grace of God in my life. But this pushed me to a point to really understand, like when Paul says, in my flesh dwells no good thing, I think it really exposed me in a way that I had maybe not seen to that level before. And I think it showed me my need for the grace of God, and not that I didn't know I needed the grace of God because I did, but it really put a depth to that. And grace is not just unmerited favor. If you look it up in the Greek, it's actually the power to walk out the Christian virtues. It's the power of God, right? So I really needed that. So I think exposing being exposed. So to speak. And I'm again, I don't think this is like God saying, Here, Mike, I'm going to expose you so you feel this way. But this process is it's very hard to understand. And it caused me to lean into God even more to become more intentional because I had to.

SPEAKER_03 22:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

It was like to me, there was no option, right? I think these things do one of two things. They either repel you from the one that you need the most to help you, or they're going to cause you to lean in. I think for those that it repels, it's because along the way they've come up with a distorted view of who God really is. So therefore, he kind of gets a bl somewhat of a blame, or maybe they don't see him as a good God, or whatever the case may be. But for me, I knew all those things were not true that he is good. So it forced me to look at who I really was. As much as I was disciplined in all those things, and again, I know it's not by work, so I'm not saying that, but God had really grown me to be more mature, right? And that's a good thing. But it really exposed the depth and level of my kind of frailty and of humanity and myself, my humanness. Right. And I think that wasn't a negative because now I think my compassion for people has escalated. Like now I have, I think mental health has gone a little bit too wide in some ways, right? Everything has become mental health, but there's still a reality to mental health. And I think it's helped me understand more what people go through in those occasions. So I I'm hoping that what it does is hopefully even conveying in this and in my book is to help people to know that's not a resting spot. That's not a spot to stay in, but it's a spot to walk out of, right? And I think that's what the book is really about, too, is not getting paralyzed in these things and in the valley is what the book talks about.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

Yeah. Yeah. In my book, we're the lighthouse, right? So we're the ones that are going to be the lighthouse for the people that are walking through that darkness because it's showing that there is that light at the end of that tunnel that you're in right now. And I think that's definitely what I'm gleaming from this conversation is that there's gonna be shadows. Shadows are there, it's a part of our human experience and learning and what we learn in this in this experience of life, right? And we have to always look for the lighthouses because that's the only way that we can keep walking in that faith of, okay, I can get through this. I feel like I've been through, like I told you earlier, I've had cancer four times. I've gone through sexual assault that led to then that cancer that led to so many different things that there was so many times that I was like, How am I even gonna get out of this depression, grief, all of these things? Like, how am I even gonna move out of this? And I've had to look for my own lighthouses and say, okay, I'm going the right direction. Maybe I need to feel all of these things in order for me to work through this darkness. And so, yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

Yeah, it's a good point because I think sometimes we think we've got to be so positive in all these things in order to make it in some, and you have to learn sometimes. Look, I I wholeheartedly believe that his burden is light, right? It's not meant to weigh us down, but we're fighting against the weight, right? So it doesn't mean we don't ever feel it. And I love the lighthouse, and I remember seeing that actually, and I think it's really good. And well, my book talks about the shadows or absence of light many times, but there's the shadow of death, and then there's the shadow of the Almighty. And I think what happens sometimes is that we get these thoughts in our minds that are actually from the shadow of death, right? And they appear to be light, right? And then we start tracking with that when in all actuality it's not a truth, it's a falsehood. And then we begin to build our identity on these precepts that are not truth, right? That's why it says the truth will set you free, and there's really only one way, and that's through reading and those things, so that truth begins to wash over you. So you begin to realize that I can't imagine, and I'm experiencing some of these things. I can't imagine, like in your case, four times I'm experiencing more heart pain now than I never had heart pain. Now I have heart pain. I'm numbing my chest, I'm numb in my arm, what it took, and I get these lots of different things happen. I've had two spells since my incident, of which they were they're totally dismissive again, right? And that's very frustrating. But then what happens is, and I'm trying to learn how to get through this, but that becomes a kind of a trigger point of really, I'm getting better now, not the fear so much, but initially the first one was a fear that are we going back? Is there other things? Yeah, is this happening again? Yeah, exactly. And it's almost like you're starting all over what you work the ground, you've worked so hard to come through and come out of, it almost seems like it just sucks you right back to that spot, right? And so I think it's learning, it's interesting as I sit here and say that I never really thought about this, but my found I believe God wants to get my foundation so solid on him that when those moments come that I'm not sucked back into that, right? That I can still stand on the new ground, I can fight the doubts because I don't believe some people say, well, it says without doubting in your heart, and I get that, but it doesn't mean you don't have doubts that ever come to your mind. I think Abraham, I'm sure, had some battles going in my mind while he was taking Isaac, right? So he's not a superhuman. We face these things. So I think the second one that I've had coming out of that, I think I'm better. Like I'm getting better at holding that ground and saying, you know what? I also have to release my life that I'm not gonna, I'm not always gonna be here. Right. I don't want to leave, I don't want to leave my life. I don't want to get into that too much. I'll start getting emotional. But the bottom line is that I've got to surrender that aspect. I have to surrender my life, my mortality at the same time and realize I'm gonna be okay. Right? I can only do what I can do, right? And I try to do, I told you my story. So for me, personal accountability is a big part of it. But again, you can still do all of the right things, and it doesn't mean that it precludes you from something from happening, right? And you can't blame it again. That couch moment said they got to stop blaming. That includes I can't, I don't blame God. Again, there's an enemy of my soul. So if I was gonna blame anyone, that's the one I should blame, not God, right? The one who wants who is probably grieved himself in the moments that I'm going through, because in heaven there is no pain, no sorrow, no more tears. So these things that we're going through have to, I would assume, grieve him as well because we're hurting and he doesn't want to see us hurt. But he's there to help us get through that while we're here on this earth. So it's, but I think I as well I never thought about it until just now as we're talking that I think learning, and I'm sure you've had to learn that as well, to hold your posture in those moments. It doesn't mean you're not facing something in your mind because it's hard not to.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

And the grief and the the thoughts come.

Maria’s Cancer Story And Resilience

SPEAKER_01 29:04

I think that we just learn how to because I remember the first time I was 18 years old when I was told I had cervical cancer, it was a baby. My my kids are my youngest is almost 18. So I I can't even fathom having being that age again, right? But I was 18 years old and I was told I had cancer for the first time, and then had the surgery, you know, went back for my checkups at 19, it came back, and so it's still that devastation of like wait, I haven't even started to live my life, and and then it was told that I wasn't gonna be able to have kids. And obviously, spoiler, I had three, but in that moment, those blows keep coming. And as I continued to defy the odds against all odds, right? As I continue to defy those moments of massive uncertainty and all of those doubts and all like that fear and all of that, I continue to feel like okay, my foundation keeps putting another layer of cement, right? And I'm just I'm whole, I'm understanding that I am able to get through really tough things and stand in my in my own faith and stand in my in what I know to be true. And doesn't mean that I'm still not grieving all of these things that are going through my mind because it's a part of the process, but it's how fast we can now then come back to that foundation and not let ourselves get so bogged down by those thoughts, right? So fast forward at 32, I had now three kids. I was a single mom, and I get that that news that the cancer came back and again, devastation, depression, all of these things. And I it was very toxic positivity, if you will, because I kept a smile on my face and I just kept going because I had no other choice, right? It was the thought process. And in the in the moments of solitude that I had, I was really, really struggling. But I had to kind of again, I had no other choice. I had to keep going because I had three kids to feed and I had to take care of them. And so I did what I needed to do. I had the surgery again, I went back for my follow-up, it came back. And I'm like, oh my gosh. So, but in that moment, I had started to, I was 32 years old, I had started to work out, I had started to eat right, I had started to listen to some personal growth and really work on my mindset. And I bounced back a lot quicker in terms of and I had a good a great community as well. I think that was a huge part of it that didn't let me stop doing all those things. And I had to understand that all these people came into my life at the time that they needed to come, and they all served a purpose that I needed in that moment because that's what helped me come back quicker back to my mindset. I could tell you that the day that I had my full hysterectomy was a week before my 33rd birthday, which 33 always seems like such a powerful age. It was a week before my 33rd birthday, and I was just I was ready to get through the surgery and wake up to my kids again. And it was a whole nother journey because then I was gonna be in full menopause at the age of 32. I had a my oldest daughter was struggling big time with her mental health and and life at home wasn't easy and it wasn't gonna get any easier necessarily, but I was gonna be there, and so that was where what I grounded my faith in right there, right? I was gonna wake up and I was still gonna be here for my kids. And a week later, when I turned 33, the day of my 33rd birthday, the doctor sat down for my follow-up visit. And he was like, Maria, there was zero signs of cancer in the whole pathology report. And I was like, Oh, wow. And there were two thoughts that went through my head at that moment. The first one, oh my God, thank goodness. Thank God that was the the case. And the second one, which was that little voice that we always have in there, right? But that we have to choose to either listen to or get or push past, is well, why the heck did I even have this surgery? I'm now gonna be going through the rest of my life in a state that I shouldn't be in until another 20, 30 years from now. Because menopause, as much as it I'm here, it is not an easy part of a woman's life. And so, and I decided that voice was definitely not the one that I was going to listen to. I was gonna stay grounded in that, thank God, that I have a greater purpose. It made me it solidified that I had a greater purpose and I needed to continue to talk about my journey, and I needed to continue to speak up and show people that again, life is happening for you and not to you, and that continued to be the driving force and what I had learned. And so I with all that said, those moments they come, and I think that you are able to bounce back so much quicker and stay grounded in that foundation of what you've built over the experiences that you've had.

SPEAKER_02 35:21

Right. That's the whole. I want to say something. I think if I think before I had my couch moment where I really rededicated my life to the Lord and became committed, surrendered my life, well, really is what happened. Up until that point, my life was nothing more than a white knuckle, right? Anything that I did, any behaviors that I had, I whatever I might have done, you swear you won't ever do it again. I can't believe I did that, whatever those things are. But you're just white knuckling, right? It's just the way that it is. And the work that you're trying to do, which it's a work, right? You're trying to work at being moral or whatever it is, it just never pans out. And there is a scripture. So to me, I come from a scriptural side of things because that's the truth and my belief. And there's one that says to cast down vain imaginations, every high thing that exalts itself against God's truth and taking all thoughts captive in the obedience of his name. So I think sometimes what happens is that God's not a wish God, he's a God moved by faith, right? And that's faith in him and his word. So I think sometimes people, if they're not in that, right, now they're in a white knuckle phase, and that's a very frustrating spot to be in because there's not a lot of victory that sticks. You have short-term victories and it becomes very, very frustrating. Look, I feel like I'm a mature believer. I just went through a season that was frustrating in its own way, even with the foundation, right? And even with the knowing of taking the thoughts captive. So I think you apply the same principle and encourage other people the same thing. It's not my voice and it's not my truth that I'm saying, get out of here. It's in the precept that I just mentioned that I'm saying get out of here. And it's in the power that basically moves that away. Can it come back? Yes, it does. But I continually wage war against that, and eventually there's victory to be had in that. So I think it's important to understand that. I think we're talking the same language that my truth is held up in the one who is truth, whereas before I wasn't that way. My truth was in whatever I saw, my own worldview, and I couldn't maintain it. Maybe someone else can do that, but for me, I could not. And many people that I talked to, they couldn't do it either. But I just want to honor you. I think you were doing what you're doing. I really appreciate you, you yourself, to be transparent about your story. And I think these things that happen to us, it really grieves me to be honest with you. The things that happened, I was a victim of sexual abuse at an early age myself. I think these things, it's almost hard to imagine sometimes, minor minor in comparison to some of the things I see. How we can even make it through these types of things, right? And I hope that anybody listening, if somehow they pin this on the creator, I hope that they get their focus off of that and understand that's not it at all. I don't have all the answers to it, but this is a fallen world, and we have people in free will that do all sorts of things that are not ordained by God, and we end up being affected by those things. But I do wholeheartedly believe, and I believe my journey could attest to that and testify to it, that there is truly victory that can be had, and you can walk in freedom, and you can walk in ultimate peace, and peace not when see, peace of the world is circumstantial. When everything's going good, you got peace. But when it goes bad, then you don't. But not in my world, as much as I went through in this, I still had an internal solid peace. No matter how chaotic things were out here, I still had an assurance that things were going to be okay. Now, what did okay look like? I couldn't necessarily say what the okay was gonna look like.

SPEAKER_01 39:05

We don't always know.

SPEAKER_02 39:06

No, so you have to resign that anyway. I just honor you for what you have gone through yourself and how you've come out about that. I think it says a lot about who you are and persevered through all that.

SPEAKER_01 39:16

So thank you, thank you.

Memory Stones Counseling And Self Grace

SPEAKER_01 39:19

So, what practical steps helped you move forward emotionally and spiritually during your recovery process?

SPEAKER_02 39:27

I talk in my book about memory stones. Are you and that is going back to the moments that I know that God prevailed in my life and all the things that I've been through? And there's a lot in between the book ends that I'm sharing now. I shared about a beginning and I'm sharing now what's happening now. So I think memory stones are a big help to go back and reflect on the moments that I know and the struggles that I've had about where God prevailed and got me through those moments, whatever they may be. And they don't always have to apply to the category. You could have had something like for us, a financial thing that God broke through and we were stretched for many years or whatever. But those are still Him revealing His character and His promise. So I think that's one aspect. And I believe everyone has them, right? I do. They're there sometimes you may have to search for them because you're not used to maybe operating with a grateful heart, right? I do also talk in my book about gratitude. Scripture says that we enter his gates with thanksgiving in our heart and we enter his courts with praise. So you can't even get in the gate without thanksgiving, which is attributed to gratitude, right? So I think gratitude is another aspect to it of I am was totally grateful. The in the midst of even those two things, as much as I had the assurance of both of those, I think if you need help, I sought a grief counselor. I understood I was over my head. I think there's nothing wrong with seeking help. Fine, pray about it, find a good person. I did. I didn't even understand what I had, but for some reason I was drawn to a grief counselor, and that's where I went. Do I think that the counselor had a lot? I've done a lot of counseling myself. So did I think that she had a lot of things that she really gave me? I can't say that, but she was a good sounding board for me to be able to win and just share how I was feeling. And I think there was a lot for me, that's how I processed. There was a lot of healing in that. So I think don't she would tell me that I was too hard on myself, and I never understood that. I be honest with you, I didn't, because I really didn't think I was being too hard on myself. But I think that was one comment she was probably right about. I was not giving myself grace enough to understand what I've come through. It's a little it's kind of big. And if I'm not measuring up in my own mind of the level of excellence that I normally operate in, it's okay. I haven't moved away from my anchor. I'm just struggling to walk in the level of emotional wellness that maybe I was prior. So I think you have to be careful because it will become a discouragement when you're not meeting the standard, so to speak, which becomes a greater weight that you don't need and will make it much harder to come out of that valley experience. So now I want to say though, for me, again, mine was based on a trauma that had no root to it. No, again, I think there are roots to things. So if people have that, I think it's something to circumvent, to go inside. And are there these things? Because I write in my book about that as well, that there can be these footholds, a stronghold in the Greek actually means mental, it's a mental thing, right? It's a belief system. Those things can bring hindrance to that. So I think sometimes you have to try to allow God to expose those things. And look, I'll tell a quick story. I ended up having an offense towards God by getting hurt in the ministry way back before, and I didn't realize I had it until I met with someone and it was a pastor who said, You're under an offense. I'm thinking, I'm offended, you're telling me I'm under an offense. And he tells me to read this book, and I got the book. When I was walking with my wife one night and I was crying, and I was like, I don't want to read this book, but I knew I had to read the book. Why do I say that? Because I had a choice. I could have not read that book. Could I have been relieved of it? I could have been, possibly, but I read the book and I was set free from that offense by reading the book. So sometimes these things that we go through in order to get healing, we talked about this before. You have to move into the uncomfortable things of life. And that's those are the things that provide the healing. We we want comfort, we want microwave, we want to stick it in and press the button, and it's all gonna come out okay. But it's a process many times that God wants to involve us in that process. He's again, he's not the one that brought this, but he's the one that's gonna bring us through. And I think we have to step over those lines of uncomfortableness. And just because it's uncomfortable doesn't mean that it's wrong. Okay, I went to a counselor. I could have said, look at all the things that I've done. I've helped so many people get through. Why can't you get through this? Why do you need to go through some help? But I recognize that I needed help. And I think it's those are good steps to take for people to move through that. So I think memory stones, gratitude, and then realizing that it's not, don't let this weigh you down to the point to where it becomes paralyzing.

SPEAKER_01 44:33

I love that. I love that so much. Yeah. And the uncomfortable feelings is, I think, what's needed to, I mean, there's two different types of that uncomfort, right? There's the one that tells us, oh, move away. This is not good for it's that intuition of this is not what's right for you. And then there's the other that is like the moment that I pass this, I'm elevating in a different way in that part of my life. And it's the unknown, the uncertainty that actually stops us. And I think that's where the moment that we do pass through that discomfort, like we live a life that we didn't even expect to live, or circumstances that we didn't even expect to experience. I wouldn't be having this conversation here with you if I didn't do what scared me to start this podcast to begin with. And yeah, so I think that's so powerful.

Facing Fear With Faith Tools

SPEAKER_01 45:36

So to close it out, what would you say to someone who's facing a crisis they never saw coming and feels overwhelmed by the fear or uncertainty?

SPEAKER_02 45:48

Boy, that's a big one, that's for sure. So my my thing, I have to go back. The first thing is who is the anchor of your life? That's the first one, right? I think if you yourself are still your anchor, then it's going to be a much bigger problem. I am I've experienced that myself. I talked about the white knuckling, but let's just make the assumption that you understand who the anchor of your life is, which is not yourself. I think you have to first off, I can definitely empathize with where you're at because I'm still there to be honest with you. I'm still coming out of this, but I'm much better. I'm not on the ledge like I was before. So that's a big improvement. I would say if it's at the level that I was going through, seek counsel. There are many out there that you can get. I would do a Christian counselor by far. I would not go to secular. They help they help you identify the problem, but they don't really give you too much of the solution. And I think that's what you're looking for is the solution. But if anything, it's a sounding board. But I it's easy for me to be cliche to don't be discouraged and be hopeful and all those things, because that, but that's what you want to be. All I can say, and this is going to sound cliche as well, but it will pass if you continually operate with the right tools. And all if you think about a garden, you can have tools that are laying up against the fence and the weeds will grow and everything else. And the hard part is in the midst of all this that we're feeling is that we still have to have some aspect of yielding ourselves to the battle aspect of it. So many times we want to lay down, and I had days where I just you get weary of fighting and you feel like you're not gaining ground. But see, going back to memory stones, I know that victory can be had. So even in those days, give yourself grace, right? But continue, don't stop in the process, right? And realize that you don't have to think, wow, something great's gonna come out of this. Because when you're in the midst of that, you could probably care less about whether something great's coming or not. Yeah, you just want out of where you're at. I can tell you that there's a God that's created you that loves you beyond any way, anything that you can even fathom. And he's with you every step of the way, and he will give you grace and strength to get through that. There is an enemy that would love nothing more for you to stop in the valley, paralyze you in those moments, and render you useless in areas of your life. So I would say there's still purpose in the pain. There still is purpose in that. Not that God sent it. I want to make sure I'm clear about that because people attribute it to him, but he can bring you out of that. So stay encouraged as much as you possibly can. Put on music, worship music. Those are all things. I know when I have my quiet time and I read, but I can say this it was really tough. Some of those moments were so flat. I knew I needed it, but they were so flat. And so I guess it would be attributed like to the old cod liver oil days when they would make people take, we don't do that now, but medicine doesn't always taste good, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it's wrong for you. So try to stay in those habits, even though they feel like they're doing nothing, and because they really are.

SPEAKER_01 48:57

Yeah, I love it.

Book Links And Final Takeaways

SPEAKER_01 48:59

Tell listeners where they could find your book, and I will also put everything in the show notes, so just FYI.

SPEAKER_02 49:05

All right, yeah. Right now it's on Amazon. It's interesting, it takes about eight weeks before it gets everywhere and books a million and all that, but it eventually will. But it's on Amazon, it's called The Shadow. And if someone wants to reach out, I'm really I am very transparent about my life and what I've gone through. I have a website, it's called Mike Dyson, my name, Mike DysonAuthor.com. And there's an email that's just info before that, info at Mike DysonAuthor.com, or they could just go to the website and I'll respond to anything that they and if they just want prayer, I would commit to praying with them at the same token. But the shadow, again, it was something that God revealed to me, believe it or not. Seven years ago, I had these notes in the fall of last year, 25. I woke up in the night, felt I should revisit them. I was encouraged and wrote the book in three months. And I think that it just was a timing thing. I had it in my calendar every week, write book for seven years and never wrote it. But I think just the timing of this book is to help people come out of that valley, like we just discussed. Yeah, but yes, it's a shadow and available on Amazon.

SPEAKER_01 50:07

Awesome. So I will put everything in the show notes so that you it's easily accessible. Seriously, this has been amazing. Thank you so much for joining us today. I really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_02 50:19

Thank you. I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_01 50:21

Listeners, I hope you enjoyed today's conversation. It really just solidified so much in in different ways of speaking. It could be how you heard it from Mike or heard it from me or somebody else in your life. And just those are the reminders that we need to to stick to or listen out for to stay grounded in that foundation. So I hope that you got so much out of today's conversation. Thank you so much for listening. Peace out, guys. Love your life. Bye.